Z

Your father was a good man, and the apple does not fall far from the tree. He will be remembered. My prayers to your mother and your family in this huge loss. We are all so sad to lose our friend.

RealLindaL wrote:Brooke, I had written most of this just before your sad notice of your father's death was posted, but am going to send it along anyway; perhaps you'll want to read it at a later date.

It was very kind of you take the time on this most difficult night to fill us in on your dad's decision, and to share some of your feelings.  I'm so sorry for your inestimable loss!   Please know that your mourning, though deeply painful, honors his memory, just as you honored his wishes in leaving his bedside when he asked.

Your sense that you never told him everything you wanted to -- though terribly tough to bear -- seems almost universal, or at the very least a not-uncommon thing.    My own father's been gone almost 26 years, for example, and I still sometimes relive the last times with him, wishing I'd told him (or asked him!) this or that.  I was 600 miles away when he died in a coma from complications of stroke, but had seen him only two months prior and knew he was ill; the "should haves" don't easily fade away.  I tell you my story only to say you're not alone and to remind you of something you already know - that the ways and means of death and all that entails are rarely within our control. We do the best we can, but what it is, it is.

I hope you can take comfort in knowing you were there for your father and that he exercised his own choice in full knowledge of your love and caring.  I don't know but can only imagine it may eventually be hard to recall that he sent you away, but it seems clear that he only wanted you and your mom to remember him in life, and that's for your own sake.  

You're obviously a very strong (and very special!) loving daughter.  Surely your father's love for and pride in you will remain with you always.  

Sending virtual hugs:     {{{Brooke}}}

With love and tears,
Linda

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Brooke, I am not good dealing with such realities of life but I so admired your Dad's intellect but I will weenie out and simply allow Linda's thoughtful post stand as my words as well. I wish you all that is good!

I am heart broken for you and your mom.

Thank you, everyone, for your condolences.

Here's a song that my dad played for my mom when she turned 30, and he sent it to me when I turned 30, also. Dad has always said that his 30s were the best years of his life. That's when he met and married my mom, when I was born, and when he was flying a lot in South East Asia as a helicopter pilot in the Marine Corps. Aviation was a passion of his since his childhood, and he truly got to live out his dreams. He told mom after Christmas that if he died in his sleep, he lived a good life. I know he felt that way. Anyway, enjoy this song from dad. It really captures his feelings at my age.

Thank you Brooke for sharing.....30 the best years.

Brooke I am very sorry for your and your mom's loss. I did send you an email just a few minutes ago.

I want you to know, Brooke, that I feel honored to have had just the little contact I shared with your dad.  He was a person who renewed my faith on a daily basis.  I'm putting this here for you and your family, in honor of your dad:



He lives on in your hearts.

Floridatexan wrote:I want you to know, Brooke, that I feel honored to have had just the little contact I shared with your dad.  He was a person who renewed my faith on a daily basis.  I'm putting this here for you and your family, in honor of your dad:



He lives on in your hearts.

Thank you for that. I've never seen my dad so aptly described in words. This is him to a T.

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:Thank you for that. I've never seen my dad so aptly described in words. This is him to a T.

What an absolute treasure to have such a high opinion of one's parent! And doubtless your dad deserved every bit of that respect. He was one special man, and you are one very fortunate young woman to have called him father.

Pillars of salt...pillars of sand.....

Floridatexan wrote:I want you to know, Brooke, that I feel honored to have had just the little contact I shared with your dad.  He was a person who renewed my faith on a daily basis.  I'm putting this here for you and your family, in honor of your dad:



He lives on in your hearts.

Very nice.

I have had an empty sad feeling for a week prior to Z's passing. I knew how excited he got researching and learning. I knew how much he enjoyed college sports and particularly the excitement he had about his UWF football team. He was so alive. So full of optimism despite his challenges. I felt the same way after Bob passed, but we lost Bob weeks before his passing. Z was communicating the day before he passed. I guess time heals. I will be going back and looking at his threads and enjoying the process of rereading them, but with so many good people gone...........it just gets hard some days.

2seaoat wrote:it just gets hard some days.

Understood.  

Even though I've always considered myself generally a very happy (if sentimental and nostalgic) person, it's not quite as easy to feel that way all the time as the years wear on and the losses mount.  The continuing loss of those we love and care about is the single hardest thing we humans must face.  No getting around it.  One might mute the sorrow some by embracing a belief in the hereafter, but that doesn't change the reality.

Sorry for your loss.

Damn! I didn't expect to read that. My sincerest condolences to Z man's family. He was a good guy and will be missed dearly. I can't believe all these people dying?

Wordslinger wrote:Z's movie is over.  But from all the comments here, from everyone who honored him, I know it was a wonderful, meaningful and important show.  The kind of movie where you leave being a better person for having seen it.

Happy Landings Z.

4 Stars.

Hi Everyone,

My apologies for not keeping in touch the last few days. I have been reading your kind posts, but I have been too busy helping my mom take care of my dad's affairs to respond. And I certainly do not expect you guys to keep this going forever. At the same time, it feels nice to talk to people who know/knew my dad (verb tenses are a strange thing now). There are things you all have said that only close friends and family would know, and it warms my heart. It is becoming very clear to me that Dad was a person with many friends, several of whom he had for decades, even though he didn't get out much. I know I mentioned before that I would talk more about him in private messages, but I'm on the fence about whether or not to just be public. Something makes me want to shout from the rooftops about my dad. I also know, however, that there are certain things about himself that he intentionally kept private on here. I'm not sure what I will do eventually.

My aunt finally left today. It was really nice to have her around. She was a huge help. A rock for my mom. Dad was her big brother (the oldest of 4), and she is still processing her experience being by Dad's side when he passed. It was a spiritual one for her that I'm gathering can only be understood by people who have done it themselves. She doesn't describe it as a bad experience at all. In fact, she says it was an honor that Dad allowed her to be there. But she still has a lot of emotions to process. It seems that today was a bit of a rough day for my aunt, my mom, and myself. There is a real palpable emptiness at my parents' house. Most of his things are still in the same place. His computer is still on, and I didn't even close the windows he was working on when he left in the ambulance. I've never experienced this kind of grief before, and it feels surreal. Sure, I've had grandparents and friends die. But there is something distinctly different about losing a parent. Especially during the years when you are becoming a mature adult yourself. There was a lot left to learn from him, and I find myself wanting to ask him questions. I'm sure many of you can relate.

Anyway, please forgive me if I am not using this forum appropriately. I don't mean to turn it into a diary, although this thread is a chronicle of my dad's hospitalization. One day, I'll go through Dad's 11,000+ posts on here. I hope that I can pick his brain from them. His ideas about energy and the subjects he enjoyed learning about are important to me. I knew some of them, as Dad always repeated himself in that stereotypically "dad" way. But there was still a lot I wanted to know. When I said goodbye to him, I apologized for never learning the family business that he always was trying to teach me. He had a knowledge of complicated subjects integral to the business that no one else had.

By the way, eventually, I will be planning a memorial service for Dad that will probably occur at the end of April. I will share the details when I get them ironed out. Even though I know that anonymity is a big reason why this forum was created, you are his friends, and I would be honored have you in attendance of a celebration of his life.


P.S.
What a beautiful metaphor, Wordslinger. Thank you.

Your postings are welcome.  Always.

You're using this forum perfectly imo. Thank you so much for sharing. I think everyone here has lost a parent and we know exactly how you feel. I wish there were magic words we could share with you... but it's just damn hard. You're doing a wonderful job... there's no one right way to process it all.

I know your Dad would highly approve and be proud. Best wishes... come talk to us anytime you want.

Losing Z is a big deal here. Your posts are appreciated and welcomed. I know this is hard. My prayers continue, but I am so happy that Z has such a thoughtful and intelligent daughter. I know he was very proud of you, and he was a happy man who played the cards he was dealt.

I want to share something with you all that I didn't realize until just a few moments ago.

My niece, Dad's granddaughter, is pregnant and due any day now. In fact, she is at the hospital now and may be in early labor. Her son's name is Zander--something she and her boyfriend chose months ago.

I just referred to the baby as "Z" inadvertently. I realized that baby Z might be born today, a week after Dad's death. I decided I will call him Z and Z man. Maybe Little Z Man for a while. It just fits so well. I'm sure my dad would have done the same.

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:I want to share something with you all that I didn't realize until just a few moments ago.

My niece, Dad's granddaughter, is pregnant and due any day now. In fact, she is at the hospital now and may be in early labor. Her son's name is Zander--something she and her boyfriend chose months ago.

I just referred to the baby as "Z" inadvertently. I realized that baby Z might be born today, a week after Dad's death. I decided I will call him Z and Z man. Maybe Little Z Man for a while. It just fits so well. I'm sure my dad would have done the same.

I love it . . . . hope the moniker of "Z Man" sticks as he will carry on his grandfather's memory . . . . calling him simply "Z" would be pretty cool and unique!