As good as I can expect

There is no magic bullet in my future which will save me.  This disease killed Steve Jobs and it will kill me, but I am getting the best treatment from the number 10 hospital in the world, and it appears that their world leading radio embolization surgeons have performed a miracle.....I am still here and it appears  that the surgeries last year have bought me more time.  Jobs lasted 7 1/2 years and July was my seventh year.....my cat scans results Friday are below:

IMPRESSION:

1. HEPATIC METASTASES ARE STABLE.

2. PULMONARY NODULES ARE STABLE.

3. NO FINDINGS TO SUGGEST NEW METASTATIC DISEASE IN THE CHEST, ABDOMEN, OR PELVIS COMPARED WITH 2/4/2015.
***Final Report***

I have been blessed and hope I can use this gift for something positive, and hope I can still have at least one more surgery on the liver before it gives out, and do not plan to waste one day on self pity or feeling sorry for myself.....I am the luckiest man alive.

Glad to hear you are doing well....and can hang around and watch the show, it's getting real interesting.

Liver and biliary tree: Numerous liver metastatic lesions are not significant changed in size compared with the prior exam. The dominant mass centered in the superior right hepatic lobe currently measures 11.9 cm (5/115), unchanged when remeasured at the
same level. A mass in the liver segments 5/6 measures 5.0 x 4.5 cm (5/150), not significantly changed. These liver metastases show peripheral predominant enhancement and central low density, likely related to partial necrosis. The hepatic and portal
veins are patent. The gallbladder surgically absent. There is no biliary dilatation.

I am fragile because of this tumor load.  Think of almost a lethargic calm and always tired.  Some days this load wins.  The big tumor when you see this five inch by five inch image from a Cat Scan you do not understand why you are still alive.  Jobs saw the same and disregarded the doctors and thought he would simply put in a new liver.  The University of Missouri against almost all medical standards gave him the new liver and he was dead two years later....the disease is systemic and slow, yet he wanted a quick answer which just does not work.  I am listening to the docs, but I am getting more tired by the day.  I am playing less poker because I fall asleep at the table......some days I am almost normal, and the worst part people keep coming up to me telling me how great I look.....I should have been dead last summer, and people are telling me I look great.....I grew the beard to stop those comments....I look like a homeless person now and I am still having people tell me how great I look.  I remember a friend who died of a rare blood disease and he looked great to the end.  He used to get angry when people told him he looked great and he would beat the disease....his response was...no I am a dead man walking and every time you tell me that I look good I am ready to scream.......I totally understand his sentiments now.  He did teach me how to die with a sense of humor.   I organized a draw down fund raiser and we raised 50k so he could attempt some stem cell treatments, he called me from his death bed in Mayo in Mn and thanked me for my efforts and told me how the money made his last months so much easier, and asked me why I had spent so much time helping him(we played on a softball team for five years he was our third baseman and I played second base).......I was stunned and only said he was a friend and he would have done the same for me......and he did.....he taught me how to die with dignity and humor.....a lesson which was priceless.

Yeah I have been stunned at funerals where people comment on how good the deceased looked.....people just got to say something....hang in there and keep fighting..

I have honestly never been happier in my life.  My wife and I are starting a new front deck which will have two handicap ramps to each of the doors so if a gurney has to come they can get me in and out of the house easily.  We have visited hospice which is only six miles up the road, and I am ready.  I drilled holes into the concrete stoop and was exhausted.  I need a chair now when I am working.  If you take small steps, and rest it is surprising how much you can get done.  I will complete the deck, and then move onto the next project, enjoy the grandchildren, and enjoy my many friends and family.  We all are given so much and so often we lose focus on what is important.  Family, friends, and community are important, but in the end we all have a purpose which we can only hope to understand in our lifetime.

Glad to hear the report, Seaoat. It is funny how we are happy with a good report on the diseases that will kill us. The doc told my Dad "things look stable" but in the next breath to my mom and me, call hospice. People gotta say something. My Dad, his entire life that I remember, always said "You gonna live 'til you die." I always laughed at that but, in his truest style, he indeed "lived" until he died. He ate breakfast and laughed at one of my jokes the morning he passed.

Live til you die, Seaoat. We will all do the same!

I will be thinking of you, and the news you have received is very good news.  She can live years if the liver can respond to the next round.  It will be extremely tough, but if she hangs in there, the next year will be much improved.  The colon tumor is a home run because quality of life becomes so important as you deal with the big C........the colon tumor disappearing will be a huge tangible improvement in quality of life issues.......appreciate the battle and the time....they really are gifts because many never get a chance to battle....they are gone in an instant.  You and your wife have the gift of time.....a precious gift, and I will pray for your wife.

We are dealt cards we can handle......I have met with the heart specialist at Northwestern a year ago because of my aorta balloon......it will kill me before I hit the ground, but I explained to them your cousin Bob approach....I really do not want to have another major operation on my chest cavity, but the heart issues are becoming more pronounced.

Heart/pericardium/great vessels: The cardiac size is mildly enlarged. There is no pericardial effusion. The mid ascending aorta is ectatic, measuring 3.9 cm. The main pulmonary artery is enlarged, measuring 3.2 cm, suggestive of pulmonary hypertension.


the balloon gets a little larger, and because of my size they said I could go without the surgery, but there has been some expansion of the balloon and I will wait to talk to the docs.....but I agree.....Cousin Bob got a deal.

Seaoat, I admire your honest attitude....your strength and love for family will help you prevail.

Hallmark, 30% is great. You give your wife strenght.

Seven years is a long time,Oatie. My friend who had stomach cancer went in 5 months. They gave her three months after the chemo reduced the tumor only slightly. You're doing really well.

It sucks that you busted your keester all your life and now this. I dated a lady from Mobile who had her husband pass away in his 50's from prostate cancer. She has it all now- just no husband. She is a nice woman, I just don't think I am good enough for her. I can't give more details, but met her on website. Dude busted his keester too....then gone.

Geez PD we are in agreement on something! Who needs a husband anyway?

Vikingwoman wrote:Geez PD we are in agreement on something! Who needs a husband anyway?

Catlyn Jenner ?

Geez PD we are in agreement on something! Who needs a husband anyway?

I have been giving my wife a hard time about all the male attention she will be getting after I pass.  She is still in great shape and looks 15 years younger than she is.  I tell the grandkids that mimi is going to turn into a cougar.......her response is the last thing she wants at her age is another husband......

Its funny how when a woman hits 60, husbands become more aggravation than they were at 30, but both of us are content and happy in our early sixties.  She had one of the grandsons at the river who is five.  She shows him how to cast and he does a great job.  On the fourth cast he goes Mimi.....I think I caught a fish.....she goes no.....probably a snag......then she helps pull the line, and damn he caught a 14 inch channel cat......the kid was so excited he almost jumped out of his shoes.  Last week the oldest granddaughter found a freshwater pearl and was excited and almost jumped out of her shoes......whole different type of satisfaction at sixty than thirty.