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We all want to share our lives with others. For some of us, it is a mate for life. For some, it is a mate for a while, but family and friends are welcomed into their lives. My mother was a widow at 36 with two boys, and now is 87 years old living in AZ by herself with all kinds of friends and family. She lives a full and happy life, and never had another man define her life, or get married just for the sake of marriage. Had my father lived she would have had just as full of a life, and her happiness was not defined by my father.
As my life comes to an end, I see the sadness in my spouse, and that will make me sad for only a short period. She has retired and she is becoming very active with high school friends. They go out to dinner at each others homes once a month, and are keeping themselves active. My wife just gave a volunteer talk to a local nursing home and is reaching out to friends and family as she sees the future's certainty. She will be quite happy after I am gone, not because she is glad that I am gone(well now I better not speak for her quite yet), but because she is an independent human who was not defined by me, but simply shared our lives. There are plenty of people to share. Sure the intimacy of youth and sex creates deep and strong bonds, but there are special bonds between children, grandchildren, friends, and classmates which are all special. When each of us share our lives, we get so much more back in return. If you can share a friendship, or if you share intimacy......it is the sharing, not some kind of domain over another human which is important. So many of us share some time during a day with each other. It is a human yearning to share, and yes the intimacy of sharing with a spouse or companion is a fundamental urge.....I used to watch doves on my deck interacting....they say they mate for life....but I have seen many a dove flying free and happy......and quite alone.
As my life comes to an end, I see the sadness in my spouse, and that will make me sad for only a short period. She has retired and she is becoming very active with high school friends. They go out to dinner at each others homes once a month, and are keeping themselves active. My wife just gave a volunteer talk to a local nursing home and is reaching out to friends and family as she sees the future's certainty. She will be quite happy after I am gone, not because she is glad that I am gone(well now I better not speak for her quite yet), but because she is an independent human who was not defined by me, but simply shared our lives. There are plenty of people to share. Sure the intimacy of youth and sex creates deep and strong bonds, but there are special bonds between children, grandchildren, friends, and classmates which are all special. When each of us share our lives, we get so much more back in return. If you can share a friendship, or if you share intimacy......it is the sharing, not some kind of domain over another human which is important. So many of us share some time during a day with each other. It is a human yearning to share, and yes the intimacy of sharing with a spouse or companion is a fundamental urge.....I used to watch doves on my deck interacting....they say they mate for life....but I have seen many a dove flying free and happy......and quite alone.
