Grandparents......observations of your children's discipline of the grandkids

Ok.....this is not going to be an exciting thread, but it is a problem that my wife and I have discussed. When we are over we see inconsistent discipline on the kids. Earlier this week I was coloring with my two granddaughters and I did not realize that I was not supposed to give the year and a half old color markers, rather only crayons. Well, I was using the markers with the four year old when the little one came up and made a lot of noise that she wanted to join us in coloring.....so I gave her a colored marker.....geez my wife barks at me....the four year old barks at me.......Abby cannot have markers.....so I take it back and she now has a fit. Her dad comes over......he scolds me for giving her a marker, and then tells her she has a time out which involves sitting on the stairs.......well sweet little abby sits down.....screaming at the top of her lungs that she is now being punished.....and gets up from the stairs and takes two steps toward her dad swinging away trying to hit him...she misses, and then the funniest thing I have ever seen.....she starts spitting at her dad, and giving him the most belligerent glare I have ever seen from a child.....from across the room I just start laughing uncontrollably.....where I am immediately met with my wife telling me to be quiet and quit laughing..........the moral of the story is......well I believe this time out stuff is crap.......I sent my kids up to their room and told them I would be up there in five minutes to discuss punishment which may involve a spanking. They would cry all the way up to their room, I would always wait five minutes so what ever triggered the discipline could cool off.....I would talk to them about how many spanks they should get if any...(an open hand on their buttocks over my knee) and then afterwards I would explain that I hate giving a spanking and if they could help me avoid it.

My daughter does not believe in spanking and she is starting to have inappropriate behavior from the kids which I believe starts with her husband being inconsistent with his punishments......So do you have this discussion with your kids now that they are parents......or do you stay silent?

2seaoat wrote:Ok.....this is not going to be an exciting thread, but it is a problem that my wife and I have discussed. When we are over we see inconsistent discipline on the kids. Earlier this week I was coloring with my two granddaughters and I did not realize that I was not supposed to give the year and a half old color markers, rather only crayons. Well, I was using the markers with the four year old when the little one came up and made a lot of noise that she wanted to join us in coloring.....so I gave her a colored marker.....geez my wife barks at me....the four year old barks at me.......Abby cannot have markers.....so I take it back and she now has a fit. Her dad comes over......he scolds me for giving her a marker, and then tells her she has a time out which involves sitting on the stairs.......well sweet little abby sits down.....screaming at the top of her lungs that she is now being punished.....and gets up from the stairs and takes two steps toward her dad swinging away trying to hit him...she misses, and then the funniest thing I have ever seen.....she starts spitting at her dad, and giving him the most belligerent glare I have ever seen from a child.....from across the room I just start laughing uncontrollably.....where I am immediately met with my wife telling me to be quiet and quit laughing..........the moral of the story is......well I believe this time out stuff is crap.......I sent my kids up to their room and told them I would be up there in five minutes to discuss punishment which may involve a spanking. They would cry all the way up to their room, I would always wait five minutes so what ever triggered the discipline could cool off.....I would talk to them about how many spanks they should get if any...(an open hand on their buttocks over my knee) and then afterwards I would explain that I hate giving a spanking and if they could help me avoid it.

My daughter does not believe in spanking and she is starting to have inappropriate behavior from the kids which I believe starts with her husband being inconsistent with his punishments......So do you have this discussion with your kids now that they are parents......or do you stay silent?

I really don't believe in spanking either but I think if your granddaughter is swinging at her father and spitting-it probably wouldn't be a bad idea. WTH did she get spitting from? My 5 yr.old granddaughter starts the tantrums but my son in law takes her to her room and gives her a few swats and she comes out w/ a better attitude. So it works,evidently.

2seaoat wrote:Ok.....this is not going to be an exciting thread, but it is a problem that my wife and I have discussed. When we are over we see inconsistent discipline on the kids. Earlier this week I was coloring with my two granddaughters and I did not realize that I was not supposed to give the year and a half old color markers, rather only crayons. Well, I was using the markers with the four year old when the little one came up and made a lot of noise that she wanted to join us in coloring.....so I gave her a colored marker.....geez my wife barks at me....the four year old barks at me.......Abby cannot have markers.....so I take it back and she now has a fit. Her dad comes over......he scolds me for giving her a marker, and then tells her she has a time out which involves sitting on the stairs.......well sweet little abby sits down.....screaming at the top of her lungs that she is now being punished.....and gets up from the stairs and takes two steps toward her dad swinging away trying to hit him...she misses, and then the funniest thing I have ever seen.....she starts spitting at her dad, and giving him the most belligerent glare I have ever seen from a child.....from across the room I just start laughing uncontrollably.....where I am immediately met with my wife telling me to be quiet and quit laughing..........the moral of the story is......well I believe this time out stuff is crap.......I sent my kids up to their room and told them I would be up there in five minutes to discuss punishment which may involve a spanking. They would cry all the way up to their room, I would always wait five minutes so what ever triggered the discipline could cool off.....I would talk to them about how many spanks they should get if any...(an open hand on their buttocks over my knee) and then afterwards I would explain that I hate giving a spanking and if they could help me avoid it.

My daughter does not believe in spanking and she is starting to have inappropriate behavior from the kids which I believe starts with her husband being inconsistent with his punishments......So do you have this discussion with your kids now that they are parents......or do you stay silent?

Not a grandparent, but letting your children talk like that to a parent....oh helllll no. You need tell your kids to start spanking those little arses and soon or it will be too late.

PACEDOG#1 wrote:

2seaoat wrote:Ok.....this is not going to be an exciting thread, but it is a problem that my wife and I have discussed. When we are over we see inconsistent discipline on the kids. Earlier this week I was coloring with my two granddaughters and I did not realize that I was not supposed to give the year and a half old color markers, rather only crayons. Well, I was using the markers with the four year old when the little one came up and made a lot of noise that she wanted to join us in coloring.....so I gave her a colored marker.....geez my wife barks at me....the four year old barks at me.......Abby cannot have markers.....so I take it back and she now has a fit. Her dad comes over......he scolds me for giving her a marker, and then tells her she has a time out which involves sitting on the stairs.......well sweet little abby sits down.....screaming at the top of her lungs that she is now being punished.....and gets up from the stairs and takes two steps toward her dad swinging away trying to hit him...she misses, and then the funniest thing I have ever seen.....she starts spitting at her dad, and giving him the most belligerent glare I have ever seen from a child.....from across the room I just start laughing uncontrollably.....where I am immediately met with my wife telling me to be quiet and quit laughing..........the moral of the story is......well I believe this time out stuff is crap.......I sent my kids up to their room and told them I would be up there in five minutes to discuss punishment which may involve a spanking. They would cry all the way up to their room, I would always wait five minutes so what ever triggered the discipline could cool off.....I would talk to them about how many spanks they should get if any...(an open hand on their buttocks over my knee) and then afterwards I would explain that I hate giving a spanking and if they could help me avoid it.

My daughter does not believe in spanking and she is starting to have inappropriate behavior from the kids which I believe starts with her husband being inconsistent with his punishments......So do you have this discussion with your kids now that they are parents......or do you stay silent?

Not a grandparent, but letting your children talk like that to a parent....oh helllll no. You need tell your kids to start spanking those little arses and soon or it will be too late.

............................................

You dodged Dreams because you had to go to bed.

Now you're here telling others to beat their kids....??

MYOFBMF

oh this is going to be a VERY exciting thread.

Obviously there is a lack of just about any kind of discipline if the child thinks she can spit or take swings at the parent. That's ass whoopin time. sorry.

My grandson misbehaves, don't get me wrong, but nothing ever like that. He does get time out, he does get very modest pops on the hiney and he gets his things taken away from him as punishment for misbehaving. they all work well together.

I firmly believe that society has tried to take away the right to discipline your kids. and I don't mean abuse, I know what abuse is. With this whole nanny state im going to call the po po on mommy crap and all this don't spank that child or im calling the po po on you et etc that you hear all over the place, our society's children now run wild and have a lack of respect for life, themselves and others. and it shows.

Thank fully my children are still within reason because I am firm in what I just said above. for now. , things change that I dont have control over as society puts peer pressure on them.

un disciplined children are well, undisciplined and lack respect. Ive found them to be the biggest of brats ever because I have friends who will just try to talk to thee children while their children are having a tantrum and trying to pull their hair out, tossing punches at the parent and the parent is going, now Susie, you know that's not nice LOL

Chrissy wrote:oh this is going to be a VERY exciting thread.

Obviously there is a lack of just about any kind of discipline if the child thinks she can spit or take swings at the parent. That's ass whoopin time. sorry.

My grandson misbehaves, don't get me wrong, but nothing ever like that. He does get time out, he does get very modest pops on the hiney and he gets his things taken away from him as punishment for misbehaving. they all work well together.

I firmly believe that society has tried to take away the right to discipline your kids. and I don't mean abuse, I know what abuse is. With this whole nanny state im going to call the po po on mommy crap and all this don't spank that child or im calling the po po on you et etc that you hear all over the place, our society's children now run wild and have a lack of respect for life, themselves and others. and it shows.

Thank fully my children are still within reason because I am firm in what I just said above. for now. , things change that I dont have control over as society puts peer pressure on them.

un disciplined children are well, undisciplined and lack respect. Ive found them to be the biggest of brats ever because I have friends who will just try to talk to thee children while their children are having a tantrum and trying to pull their hair out, tossing punches at the parent and the parent is going, now Susie, you know that's not nice LOL

How could you teach respect to anybody let alone your kids the way you talk?

Dreamsglore wrote:

Chrissy wrote:oh this is going to be a VERY exciting thread.

Obviously there is a lack of just about any kind of discipline if the child thinks she can spit or take swings at the parent. That's ass whoopin time. sorry.

My grandson misbehaves, don't get me wrong, but nothing ever like that. He does get time out, he does get very modest pops on the hiney and he gets his things taken away from him as punishment for misbehaving. they all work well together.

I firmly believe that society has tried to take away the right to discipline your kids. and I don't mean abuse, I know what abuse is. With this whole nanny state im going to call the po po on mommy crap and all this don't spank that child or im calling the po po on you et etc that you hear all over the place, our society's children now run wild and have a lack of respect for life, themselves and others. and it shows.

Thank fully my children are still within reason because I am firm in what I just said above. for now. , things change that I dont have control over as society puts peer pressure on them.

un disciplined children are well, undisciplined and lack respect. Ive found them to be the biggest of brats ever because I have friends who will just try to talk to thee children while their children are having a tantrum and trying to pull their hair out, tossing punches at the parent and the parent is going, now Susie, you know that's not nice LOL

How could you teach respect to anybody let alone your kids the way you talk?

you really are a fucking idiot arnt you.

do you honestly think I act and speak exactly like I do here in real life LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

First, I'm not a big advocate of spanking kids. I could probably count the times I did on one hand, and that was when they SCARED ME...like hiding in the clothing racks at the dept. store (2 & 4), or when my then 2-year-old ran out of the bathroom at the airport while I was changing the baby and introduced herself to the waiting passengers.

I believe spanking in excess fosters hostility in the child and has a reverse effect than the one intended. Time out always included counting...and I would count as well...to 10 if I was angry...before meting out any punishment. Another tool is involves counting..."Do that...1...2...2-1/2...2-3/4"...rarely did I get to 3.

I don't understand why the baby couldn't have markers, unless she had tried to eat them in the past, but if grandpa is watching over everything, I doubt that would happen. However, grandpa shouldn't laugh at bad behavior and should instead cultivate his poker face...and grandpa never goes against the parents' discipline unless it is blatantly harsh...saving any criticism for later when the child is not present. I have a close relationship with my granddaughter, and she desperately wants my approval. I don't want fear in the mix. It's enough for her to lose that approval...and the tears come...and I know she won't try that again, whatever it was. She's a very sweet kid with a strong spirit and empathy beyond her years...and I want to encourage that trait. Parents...and grandparents...should lead by example.

The laughter was admittedly totally inappropriate, but it was spontaneous to watch this sweet thing get pissed at her dad and start swinging was enough.....but when she started spitting......I lost it.....my wife has scolded me for two days because I could not control my laughter.......but damn she is going to be one little mean thing if you get on the wrong side of her.......one time at grandpa's house and she pulls that behavior.......that will be the last time. What makes this particularly hard is my son in law's dad had a heart attack the day before, and today they finished a quad bypass on his dad so he is under a great deal of pressure, and I do not think I should have this conversation right now......but the little one needs a swat on her butt.

2seaoat wrote:The laughter was admittedly totally inappropriate, but it was spontaneous to watch this sweet thing get pissed at her dad and start swinging was enough.....but when she started spitting......I lost it.....my wife has scolded me for two days because I could not control my laughter.......but damn she is going to be one little mean thing if you get on the wrong side of her.......one time at grandpa's house and she pulls that behavior.......that will be the last time. What makes this particularly hard is my son in law's dad had a heart attack the day before, and today they finished a quad bypass on his dad so he is under a great deal of pressure, and I do not think I should have this conversation right now......but the little one needs a swat on her butt.

well we agree on this.

You are however going to upset ft/dreams with the idea of spanking.

Spanking is a form of punishment. In terms of behavior management, a punishment is anything that can persuade a person to refrain from a negative behavior that they might normally demonstrate if they know a certain punishment will result from the exhibited behavior.

EX:

While growing up, I knew not to talk back to my mom because even if I was fast enough to get away from her when she was chasing me with a switch, dad would come home and the spanking would be twice as bad.

It only took one instance of running from mom and then having to engage with dad and the belt in his hand. I never ran again. FEAR is a great motivator.

PACEDOG#1 wrote:Spanking is a form of punishment. In terms of behavior management, a punishment is anything that can persuade a person to refrain from a negative behavior that they might normally demonstrate if they know a certain punishment will result from the exhibited behavior.

EX:

While growing up, I knew not to talk back to my mom because even if I was fast enough to get away from her when she was chasing me with a switch, dad would come home and the spanking would be twice as bad.

It only took one instance of running from mom and then having to engage with dad and the belt in his hand. I never ran again. FEAR is a great motivator.

You had a good mom. She had to do what most good moms do, discipline you when you needed it. Its not easy. It makes you feel bad. but it must be done or there is no discipline.

Its way harder to discipline a child than to ignore their deeds and make excuses for it.

A real parent teaches their child responsibility and the results of bad actions.

but then again, I guess im out dated in my beleifs, and then again that's probably whats wrong with the fuking world

Chrissy wrote:

Dreamsglore wrote:

Chrissy wrote:oh this is going to be a VERY exciting thread.

Obviously there is a lack of just about any kind of discipline if the child thinks she can spit or take swings at the parent. That's ass whoopin time. sorry.

My grandson misbehaves, don't get me wrong, but nothing ever like that. He does get time out, he does get very modest pops on the hiney and he gets his things taken away from him as punishment for misbehaving. they all work well together.

I firmly believe that society has tried to take away the right to discipline your kids. and I don't mean abuse, I know what abuse is. With this whole nanny state im going to call the po po on mommy crap and all this don't spank that child or im calling the po po on you et etc that you hear all over the place, our society's children now run wild and have a lack of respect for life, themselves and others. and it shows.

Thank fully my children are still within reason because I am firm in what I just said above. for now. , things change that I dont have control over as society puts peer pressure on them.

un disciplined children are well, undisciplined and lack respect. Ive found them to be the biggest of brats ever because I have friends who will just try to talk to thee children while their children are having a tantrum and trying to pull their hair out, tossing punches at the parent and the parent is going, now Susie, you know that's not nice LOL

How could you teach respect to anybody let alone your kids the way you talk?

you really are a fucking idiot arnt you.

do you honestly think I act and speak exactly like I do here in real life LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Yes, I do. I'm sure getting drunk and going on rages is not just reserved for here. I know better than that.

Dreamsglore wrote:

Chrissy wrote:

Dreamsglore wrote:

Chrissy wrote:oh this is going to be a VERY exciting thread.

Obviously there is a lack of just about any kind of discipline if the child thinks she can spit or take swings at the parent. That's ass whoopin time. sorry.

My grandson misbehaves, don't get me wrong, but nothing ever like that. He does get time out, he does get very modest pops on the hiney and he gets his things taken away from him as punishment for misbehaving. they all work well together.

I firmly believe that society has tried to take away the right to discipline your kids. and I don't mean abuse, I know what abuse is. With this whole nanny state im going to call the po po on mommy crap and all this don't spank that child or im calling the po po on you et etc that you hear all over the place, our society's children now run wild and have a lack of respect for life, themselves and others. and it shows.

Thank fully my children are still within reason because I am firm in what I just said above. for now. , things change that I dont have control over as society puts peer pressure on them.

un disciplined children are well, undisciplined and lack respect. Ive found them to be the biggest of brats ever because I have friends who will just try to talk to thee children while their children are having a tantrum and trying to pull their hair out, tossing punches at the parent and the parent is going, now Susie, you know that's not nice LOL

How could you teach respect to anybody let alone your kids the way you talk?

you really are a fucking idiot arnt you.

do you honestly think I act and speak exactly like I do here in real life LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Yes, I do. I'm sure getting drunk and going on rages is not just reserved for here. I know better than that.

You don't know shit.

I am so far above you it isn't even a competition

I am a saint and yes, I am a bitchy saint occasionally lol