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White Con. Southern Woman Face Abuse And Rejection If They Flip Off 45

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In Mississippi, being a conservative white woman is embraced and those who turn from those beliefs risk abuse, rejection or public humiliation

“I love you,” Chera Sherman’s mother told her before driving away in her Jeep Cherokee, leaving her daughter, then 19, bawling fat tears in front of her boyfriend’s home in Laurel, Mississippi.

It was 1994, and Sherman had made the life-altering mistake of falling in love with Jerry Breland, a lanky, black 19-year-old she’d met through a friend back when she worked at Kmart.

Her mother had finally told her stepfather about their six-month relationship earlier that day after a local cop pulled Breland over while he was driving his girlfriend’s yellow Sunbird. When her stepfather heard she was violating his code against race-mixing, he drove to her job to tell her she had to move out.

“White men aren’t going to want you,” her father told her.

Racism was the required way of life in Sherman’s mostly segregated community. When she was four, she had called a black man the N-word in public because that’s what she believed black people were called. The man was mortified, and her family members had laughed.

‘Gaslighting is an art form perfected by conservatives’
Still happily married after 25 years, Sherman-Breland now believes many women pay the price – through abuse, rejection or public humiliation – for rejecting America’s rat’s nest of conservatism and racism that has exploded into full relief in Trump’s America.

“I can’t tell you the countless number of times younger Caucasian girls who are going through the same exact thing have reached out to me for advice,” she says now.

The south isn’t alone in its paternalism and sexism, but it is still a high art form here. “It is absolutely taught,” Sherman-Breland says. “You understand as a young girl that your place is behind your man, not in front or beside him. You cannot have your own opinions. That’s the most prevalent way they keep you in check.”

Sherman-Breland gradually went against her family’s broader conservative political beliefs as she became concerned about the future of her biracial sons, but it took hearing people she knew calling President Obama “the devil”, and Donald Trump’s open bigotry and birtherism, to electrify her. She now calls herself a proud liberal.

Most conservative wedge issues trace back to racism and sexism, she argues, adding that those poison beliefs take many shapes: abortion and immigration might make white people the minority; affirmative action gives the supposedly inferior an equal shot at jobs and education; public assistance benefits “freeloaders” of color.

White women continue to embrace such prevalent mores. “We’re helping you be a better woman. You’ll be stronger as a submissive Christian,” she says, mocking local white conservatives.

Sherman-Breland used to be anti-abortion herself, and while she doubts conservative men would actually overturn Roe v Wade – abortion is useful to them if they get the wrong women pregnant – she says they instead use it to get religious women to vote against their best interests. Abortion, she says, is what keeps many women she knows from quietly pulling a more progressive voting lever, especially after hearing Trump or Roy Moore next door in Alabama seem to justify sexual assault.

“Gaslighting is an art form perfected by conservatives in the south,” she says, wrinkling her nose.

The hypocrisy kills her. College wasn’t an option for her parents, either, who worked at garment factories. “We relied on social programs to eat,” she says, her smirk dripping with irony. “Not that they were lazy.”


At work we've been having to tell one of our Trump-supporting co-workers not to use racist words, because she thinks because we're white we won't mind. She's fuckin' wrong. I don't even bother talking to the idiot anymore, but another co-worker's kind of stuck having to interact with her so he's had to calmly tell her, "I don't care how you were raised, that's your business, but don't refer to Asians as 'chinks' to me, and don't use the n-word at all." And she's like, "Okay, but why?" I mean, that freakin' stupid. Her five-year-old son got 'em thrown out of a McDonalds because he yelled out "This line would move faster if these n*****s would hurry up!" Jeeeeez.

Another conservative co-worker got "shunned" on Facebook (even by her own brother) for putting up something about contributing to the ASPCA. For some reason that's unfathomable to anyone sane, hardcore conservatives consider the ASPCA to be a "liberal organization." Probably because it's against cruelty? Yeesh.



The Cult of the Good Christian Woman
By Sarah Olson, Medium

02 March 19

The community that raised me is pushing an ideal for women that is repressive and damaging

"Who is the “Good Christian Woman”? She is a wife who values having a family over a career or education. She oversees domestic responsibilities, she is obedient to her husband and God’s will, and she protects her children from secular influence. She defends the rights of the unborn and asserts that men are leaders. In church, she is known as a godly woman, the idealistic vision young girls are encouraged to become.

A cult is defined as a religious devotion toward a specific figure. Today, many women in the conservative Christian community have a cult-like devotion for the Good Christian Woman. In the name of this godly ideal they condemn abortion, gender equality, even education and careers. The Good Christian Woman ideal is not only repressive, it is the epicenter of harmful expectations for women perpetuated within the conservative Christian community.

A vivid example of this toxic behavior is evident in the backlash against the recent abortion law in the state of New York, which allows for abortions past 24 weeks when medically necessary. The conservative Christian community is making their anger about this law widely known, spreading misinformation and sparking emotional outrage over legislation that was meant to protect the health of women who require medical intervention later during pregnancy. Worse, a new trend on Twitter uses the hashtag #UndocumentedInfants to compare the uterus to the border, as if women’s bodies are nothing more than a political battleground. The language used has been beyond hurtful and repressive, and much of it said for the Christian cause.

Dr. Jennifer Gunter, a gynecologist and women’s health advocate, discussed several reasons for late abortions in a tweet thread that went semi-viral:..."


Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me.  These women are like this because they were raised that way and because their churches and husbands reinforce the illness.  They'll never stand up for themselves because they don't know how.

BTW, I'm now estranged from both my sister and my sister because her husband is a racist and she doesn't care, and my brother because he's a trumpie and refuses to understand he's wrong.


Floridatexan wrote:BTW, I'm now estranged from both my sister and my sister because her husband is a racist and she doesn't care, and my brother because he's a trumpie and refuses to understand he's wrong.

That's really sad, of course,and I'm sorry for those losses for you, FT, but I totally get it.  How to POSSIBLY relate to anyone who thinks that way???

Here's a story I've been meaning to tell, and I guess it fits here:

Recently I struck up an online-only correspondence that lasted a couple of months with a local woman whom I'd contacted based on her stated negative stance on another issue.  In the course of the conversation she indicated she was pro-Trump; I warned her that she and I would need to stay away from that topic as we'd never, ever see eye-to-eye on him.  But she insisted on continuing to bring him up, lauding all the wonders he'd done for the economy, and, obviously a Fox-only fan (she openly disparaged all other mainstream media), saying she couldn't fathom how I couldn't see all the good he'd done.  

Well, as this made me ill, I finally came back at her with my own severely anti-Trump opinions, and asked, among other things, how she -- an avid reader and lover of history -- could possibly admire a man who refuses to read and doesn't know nor care one whit about history.

She wrote back and said she couldn't (read: wouldn't) read my email, and that she and I could never be friends, because I was someone who was making assumptions and judging what was in another person's heart without even knowing them. (!!??) I responded that I'd done nothing of the sort, that I'd only repeated back what she'd told me herself about her feelings and opinions.

Well, she never responded again, and that was that.  Certainly no great loss, but just a microcosmic example of the huge rift that now exists between Americans -  friends, family, or just online acquaintances, doesn't matter.

And we probably all know of at least one marriage -- whether among our friends/family  or in the news -- wherein the wife and hubby are on completely opposite sides of the political spectrum.   I can't IMAGINE how I'd live with that.  How perfectly AWFUL.  Surely the divorce rate will eventually go up....?

All in all, thanks to Trump, some crucial elements of richness of life have been murdered in this nation -- killed stone cold dead.

If it wouldn't bring Homeland Security and/or the Secret Service down on my head, I'd say what I really wish someone else would do.

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