time is getting short

2seaoat wrote:I am cool with Dreams

2seaoat wrote:People are offish after they see what has happen to my body, but after ten minutes they just get by the ugly picture and stupid laugh and just see seaoat.

Vikingwoman wrote:we should ask questions rather than making assumptions.

2seaoat wrote:I know you believe you're going to a better place so why are you enduring the suffering.

First of all the concept of "you".  You alive and you dead are unknown.  My faith in God is beyond the simple concept of heaven.  I believe in energy, science, and god and that my death only changes the form of that energy.  Matthew six folks believe you are in constant contact with god in life and I simply believe the same in death.  Dreams....read   matthew six.  It is simple.  Jesus and God historically as reported in the scriptures only spoke less than 200 times, and matthew six is part of the sermon on the mount.  Direct communication that all BS is hypocrisy, and many a person will stand up and tell you about a better place........how idiotic is the concept of heaven when it is embellished by the hypocrites who pick and choose what they think is important and that God is static.  God is dynamic.  I do not fear death, I do fear pain.

The Biafrian belly is really getting scary.  I am not saying I had a six pack in my sixties, but this belly and the skeleton arms are just getting worse each day.   Now my fear of pain does not mean my thresholds have changed, rather it is just so exhausting and times unbearable, but as my body rots away my character stays strong.  I choose life and not in any tough guy projection because I wake up each morning with dried tears on my face.  I try to hide my pain from my wife, but she sees it......feels it........and now is showing serious signs of depression and confusion.   It is easy to talk cancer, but to the caretakers of this world......god bless each and every one, and Dreams in the end you are questioning if I am stubborn........have you learned nothing from my lessons.

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:we should ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Does that extend to "assumptions" about someone else's "morbid" motivations??
Obviously not.

That's the part I considered rude as hell.

2seaoat wrote:In the end, I have found Linda and Joannie's post comforting and helpful.  Dreams and I over the years have discussed god and now with the dying process, I think she has seen too many robots just say they are going to heaven.  

I am honestly very happy.   You can be in pain and be happy, but I would prefer the absence of pain.  The hospice nurse stopped by and took vitals and will not return for a month as my vitals were good and she watched me lift myself.

Now crazy seaoat and his sidekick have just made a homemade lift to raise me to standing with a battery and push of a button.  We are putting in three grab bars to the bathroom, and we think we are ready when the walking deteriorates further.

Look this journey has not been fun, but so much of what I am experiencing, I wish somebody had given me a map or dropped some bread crumbs because most cancer patients are lost in the wilderness.

Vikingwoman wrote:

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:we should ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Does that extend to "assumptions" about someone else's "morbid" motivations??
Obviously not.

That's the part I considered rude as hell.

I don't know what else you would call it. Some people call honesty rude. So be it.

2seaoat wrote:In the end, I have found Linda and Joannie's post comforting and helpful.

Joanimaroni wrote:I was one proud mom and grand mom.

2seaoat wrote:My love of basketball is that it is the closest game to life for me.  Football is static with a given play, baseball is individual, but basketball is dynamic and played best as a team which is well coached.

I live in anticipation all week to watch my granddaughter play in her fourth grade girl's league.  Her team is undefeated and well coached as the coach starts with fundamentals.  I drive my wheelchair to the corner of the court and get the best seat.   I am so thankful for this extra time to watch these kids having so much fun as girls who were timid a month ago rip the ball from the girl she was guarding, but my granddaughter like her mother is laughing and goofing around and having fun, and then crunch time just like a deer she runs past people.  I have been blessed with this much time.

Tough morning.  Did not take morphine yesterday and tried medical pot only to cut the pain.   Big mistake.  I cannot exist now without the pain meds.

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:we should ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Does that extend to "assumptions" about someone else's "morbid" motivations??
Obviously not.

That's the part I considered rude as hell.

I don't know what else you would call it. Some people call honesty rude. So be it.

And I suppose, since you persist in acting as if you know all about me and my motivations, this tells me all I need to know about you.  

Have a good day.

Vikingwoman wrote:

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:

RealLindaL wrote:

Vikingwoman wrote:we should ask questions rather than making assumptions.

Does that extend to "assumptions" about someone else's "morbid" motivations??
Obviously not.

That's the part I considered rude as hell.

I don't know what else you would call it. Some people call honesty rude. So be it.

And I suppose, since you persist in acting as if you know all about me and my motivations, this tells me all I need to know about you.  

Have a good day.

Persist? LOL! Ok whatever.