Would you let your adult child be homeless if they lost their job?

Dreamsglore wrote:Who on this forum wouldn't take in their child if they were homeless?

Floridatexan wrote:

Joanimaroni wrote:

Dreamsglore wrote:I'm not her mother but I won't let her be homeless. We'll see that happens.

Well, I know you won't let her be homeless. I've taken in friends of my kids, their choice, everything worked out fine.

I have also taken in kids whose parents threw them out. So did my parents.

Nekochan wrote:There are good people on this forum.
Dreams, can you keep us posted on how the girl is doing?

Granny4Peace wrote:My husband has two brothers. One is disabled and hasn't been able to work. He lives with us and will as long as we are able to take care of him. His other brothers lives in the house that their dad left to all three brothers, rent free. He is in his mid 50s and has never held a job. His living expenses are about $100 a month, and he has bought a new car about every 6 months since his dad died in 2008. Because he has never had to take care of himself, he has no idea how to. We are forcing him to sell the house, but he's been balking because he lives there rent free, even though he only owns one third of it. It's been a battle!

My point is, if you don't teach your kids that they have to take care of themselves, they will never learn.

This young woman works and goes to school. She IS trying, and I meant what I said that I would let her move in if it was possible. It sounds to me like she deserves more than her mother is prepared to give her. she needs encouragement and support. Dreams, she is lucky to have you in her corner.

Granny4Peace wrote:The house which is in New Orleans, is where the 50 something brother lives. It was to have gone on the market shortly after their dad's death in January 2008. My husband and I were living in Phoenix at the time, and since "fifty something" announced he'd rather kill the mentally handicapped brother, we went and got him and brought him to live with us.

Fifty something has always had an excuse why he couldn't sell the house. He wanted to remodel it. Of course, that was out of the question, since he didn't work. For the first year, all of his expenses were comeing out of the Estate, of which my husband was the Executor. When our lawyer mentioned this to my husband, he stopped it and 50-something had to start paying it. He threw a horrendous fit and swore he'd never speak to my husband again. We should BE so lucky!

So here it is nearly five years later. We moved here, take care of oldest brother, my husband works hard, we pay all our bills. 50-something called last week and announced that the taxes on the house are overdue, and he couldn't afford to pay that or the insurance. He's never paid a nickle's worth of rent in his life. But he always manages to drive a new Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Infinity, or other high end car. He averages two three a year, that we know of. He has the best in electronics, a new iPad, and can afford to buy all his toys. It's just his living expenses that he can't afford.

We want to kick him out of the house, sell the house and split the money into thirds, like their father wanted. If we can just get him out of there. The house went up on the market Friday, he said. Hubs will be driving back on his next weekend off to check things out.

Dreamsglore wrote:

Granny4Peace wrote:The house which is in New Orleans, is where the 50 something brother lives. It was to have gone on the market shortly after their dad's death in January 2008. My husband and I were living in Phoenix at the time, and since "fifty something" announced he'd rather kill the mentally handicapped brother, we went and got him and brought him to live with us.

Fifty something has always had an excuse why he couldn't sell the house. He wanted to remodel it. Of course, that was out of the question, since he didn't work. For the first year, all of his expenses were comeing out of the Estate, of which my husband was the Executor. When our lawyer mentioned this to my husband, he stopped it and 50-something had to start paying it. He threw a horrendous fit and swore he'd never speak to my husband again. We should BE so lucky!

So here it is nearly five years later. We moved here, take care of oldest brother, my husband works hard, we pay all our bills. 50-something called last week and announced that the taxes on the house are overdue, and he couldn't afford to pay that or the insurance. He's never paid a nickle's worth of rent in his life. But he always manages to drive a new Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Infinity, or other high end car. He averages two three a year, that we know of. He has the best in electronics, a new iPad, and can afford to buy all his toys. It's just his living expenses that he can't afford.

We want to kick him out of the house, sell the house and split the money into thirds, like their father wanted. If we can just get him out of there. The house went up on the market Friday, he said. Hubs will be driving back on his next weekend off to check things out.

Aren't people ridiculous? You should take off three years of rent out of his third when you sell it.

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:My stepdaughter's (now ex) husband won a small settlement in 2002. Her husband's Dad had been killed at the hands of Escambia County corrections officers at the county jail in early 1998. He and his brother sued and eventually settled out of court. The lawyer took 40% and the two brothers split what amounted to about $300K. They wound up buying a small home for cash and a couple of cars with the money. Then, a couple of years later they took a loan out for part of their home's equity. Then two years later, they got another loan. I tried to warn them away from the second loan, but kids don't always listen to their wiser elders. When they split from each other at the end of 2008, they were so far under water and in debt that I could not feasibly rescue them. What I ended up doing was taking money my father had gifted to me and buying a double-wide trailer in a nice neighborhood for our daughter and her kids to live in. She pays no rent and we pay all expenses. It's been that way for the last three years. The home they had lived in went into foreclosure and was recently sold.

We just keep our fingers crossed that our grandkids will turn out okay. The oldest is 17, has finished a year of college at PSC already (got her HS diploma at 16), and is also now working at her first job. If we can keep this one on track and keep the other two young'uns charted along a similar path, it will all have been worthwhile.

Dreamsglore wrote:

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:My stepdaughter's (now ex) husband won a small settlement in 2002. Her husband's Dad had been killed at the hands of Escambia County corrections officers at the county jail in early 1998. He and his brother sued and eventually settled out of court. The lawyer took 40% and the two brothers split what amounted to about $300K. They wound up buying a small home for cash and a couple of cars with the money. Then, a couple of years later they took a loan out for part of their home's equity. Then two years later, they got another loan. I tried to warn them away from the second loan, but kids don't always listen to their wiser elders. When they split from each other at the end of 2008, they were so far under water and in debt that I could not feasibly rescue them. What I ended up doing was taking money my father had gifted to me and buying a double-wide trailer in a nice neighborhood for our daughter and her kids to live in. She pays no rent and we pay all expenses. It's been that way for the last three years. The home they had lived in went into foreclosure and was recently sold.

We just keep our fingers crossed that our grandkids will turn out okay. The oldest is 17, has finished a year of college at PSC already (got her HS diploma at 16), and is also now working at her first job. If we can keep this one on track and keep the other two young'uns charted along a similar path, it will all have been worthwhile.

Are you serious,Z? Why doesn't your stepdaughter work?

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:

Dreamsglore wrote:

ZVUGKTUBM wrote:My stepdaughter's (now ex) husband won a small settlement in 2002. Her husband's Dad had been killed at the hands of Escambia County corrections officers at the county jail in early 1998. He and his brother sued and eventually settled out of court. The lawyer took 40% and the two brothers split what amounted to about $300K. They wound up buying a small home for cash and a couple of cars with the money. Then, a couple of years later they took a loan out for part of their home's equity. Then two years later, they got another loan. I tried to warn them away from the second loan, but kids don't always listen to their wiser elders. When they split from each other at the end of 2008, they were so far under water and in debt that I could not feasibly rescue them. What I ended up doing was taking money my father had gifted to me and buying a double-wide trailer in a nice neighborhood for our daughter and her kids to live in. She pays no rent and we pay all expenses. It's been that way for the last three years. The home they had lived in went into foreclosure and was recently sold.

We just keep our fingers crossed that our grandkids will turn out okay. The oldest is 17, has finished a year of college at PSC already (got her HS diploma at 16), and is also now working at her first job. If we can keep this one on track and keep the other two young'uns charted along a similar path, it will all have been worthwhile.

Are you serious,Z? Why doesn't your stepdaughter work?

She just turned 36 and has worked about 8 weeks total at maybe two jobs in her whole life. She has deep-seated personal issues is probably the best answer I can give as to why she can't take care of herself. When she was with her husband, she expected him to bring home the bacon and she wanted to stay home. Since they split, we have tried to encourage her, but I think you have to want something more for yourself to move forward. Needless to say, our incentives to keep supporting her this way will be diminished once her youngest child has left the nest.