Barack Obama has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do." says the Devil. "You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here, I'm going to have to let someone else go."
"I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves!"
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agrees. The Devil opened the first room. In it was Nancy Peloisi and a large pool of hot, boiling water. she kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was her fate in hell.
"No!' said Obama. 'I don't think so, I'm not a good swimmer!"
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was George Bush, with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I had to do was break rocks all day."
The Devil opened the third door. In it, Obama saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Obama looked at this in disbelief for a while, and finally says, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to Go!"