I know there are things I should be doing right now to make it easier for her, but I also do not want to dwell too much on the obvious. Six years ago when it spread to my liver, I transferred all my interest in our real estate to her trust. I have all our accounts in joint tenancy with right of survivorship, and we have changed corporations where she is now President. We have the cremation folks lined up, and the hospice people will handle the paperwork after my death to get the remains to the cremation folks. I have expressed my desire for no funeral, but a celebration of life at a community center where I coached kids, and I have began going through the photos to prepare for the memorial. I have a music list and other ideas for the memorial.
The community center has a gym above and a kitchen and large meeting room below with tables and chairs. I think I am going to have three TVs with photos which represent youth, adulthood, and retired. I will have photos of my family in the early version, the second version will have my wife and I raising the kids, and the final will be our grandchildren and family enjoying life. My daughter does not like the community center and would prefer the local funeral home for wake and visitation. I want nothing to do with sadness. The community center was a joyous time and I want people to celebrate life and not be sad. The only problem is that friends and family do not like that the community center does not allow alcohol. I have told everybody to meet at a bar after the memorial and have a good time, but I want to break the cycle of sad visits to funeral homes......huge dislike of the same from my youth where the whole ritual of death seemed to be so sad.....and dictated by others who tell you how death should be handled. F em.
I told my brother after my mother died that I want nothing and suggested that her estate should be split among our children. He agreed, and the kids got some of the personal property she had promised them, and a modest check for each of the five grandchildren which helped them get a good start. It sucks to deal with those estate issues, but my wife will have a simple path as I have already transferred everything to her six years ago when I thought I only had months......I sometimes feel like the ever ready rabbit......just waiting for the lights to go out.....but I keep on going......starting to get a bit freaky as I look at the doctors scratching their heads why I am not dead.......all in good time.