These end stage problems must be pretty awful
They are not awful, but my wife was crying today because she would hear me let out yelps when picking up pickets for a fence. She was on the phone, when she asked the person to give her thirty seconds. Look, dying is not that bad, but it is horrible for your caretaker, and the people who love you. My daughter has called and is talking about coming down as she is freaking, and my son got a flight to come down a day early to help us with some things, but I do not know if I will make it back down for the week on the beach. I am most comfortable in the sitting position in the car with heated leather seats which seem to quell the liver pain, and I will probably start using opiates, but that will start a process I want to postpone because they effect the liver.
I am trying not too be to graphic with this decline, but as the doctor told me I eventually will not be able to get out of bed. Z and I sent many PMs talking about the process of losing your legs and mobility. Z had courage and it made me feel very good that he shared the same with me, and when Bob was having problems, he shared with Bob his situation. I still am mobile, but the pain on every twist, turn, or getting up from my lazy boy, a chair, getting out of the car, and getting off the toilet are very painful. Our toilet in Illinois is a HDCP toilet and we have grab bars which make my getting around the bathroom easy with the decline......once up, you probably would look at me at Lowes, and not even realize how sick I am, until I start to walk. I am having six bowel movements a day and they are very unpleasant and can be explosive with no notice. One minute you are doing well, and literally one minute later you are rushing off to the bathroom. Again, this is all expected and understood.....and so far nothing I cannot handle, but for how long.......we will see.