Thank you, Sal, for offering a perfect example of your absolute, high horse judgmentalism, and also for making my prediction come 100% true as to what would happen if I told that story about Miz Agnes.
Obviously, though YOU don't have the "balls" to come right out and say so, you're trashing my account of my relationship with Miz Agnes as nothing more than a "Some of my best friends are Jews"-type story. Well, guess what? I don't give a flying F what you think -- I told that story as I've never done elsewhere or with anyone except my husband, because I was remembering that funeral and missing Miz A., a person who was very dear to me, and I wanted to share that experience with y'all and maybe have someone volunteer to enlighten me further as to any cultural traditions regarding the expression of grief at funerals. Silly me for daring to open my mouth.
When you, sir, find that you need to put down all the good things that people say here, all the positive thoughts and feelings they have (and yes -- I'll add -- the good acts they perform), indicating in your own often passive aggressive way (as in this case) that nothing others say or do can possibly measure up to your own obviously very superior set of impossibly stilted standards, you are clearly demonstrating a serious deficiency in yourself, and only you can know what that is.
But it's beginning to sound to me as though, to you, anyone in the world who isn't actually black, is a racist pure and simple, and nothing they say or do can change your opinion on that. Very sad. I wonder how someone with such consistently negative views of other people can get up in the mornings.
In any event, SHAME ON ME for not learning the lesson you have already "taught" our good-hearted forum member Hallmark, which is that any story whatosever told on this forum, no matter what the intent, is going to get put down by one of our all-perfect, all-knowing members, as only they are expert on what constitutes racism vs what constitutes simple human love.
So the rest of us have a choice: Continue communications with the other forum members, for better or for worse, and learn to ignore, if not laugh at, the ludicrous criticisms (passive or aggressive or a combo thereof) that will surely follow from the personality-disordered, or simply quit spinning wheels and wasting time and emotional energy, and leave the room.
Both options have their attractions.