A plea to all celebrities reading this

You celebrities are the coolest and smartest of all humans so I feel sure you'll take pity on us peons and stop committing crimes.
You see,  when you commit crimes,  be it Paris Hilton driving without a license, or Bill Cosby raping women,  or the Affluenza Kid slaughtering people,  or Charlie Sheen screwing people with AIDS,   us peons no longer get anything else from the news media.  The news media goes into full 24/7 mode on you,  Paris,  or you,  Bill,  or you,  Affluenza Kid, or you,  Charlie, and nothing else gets reported.
Yes,  it's mainly because us peons are really dumb and all we want is to live vicariously through you and your crimes and your other bullshit.  We want to know every minute detail about you and what you do.  And yes the news media feeds this to us because it knows that's what we want.

So take pity on us and stop committing crimes,  goddamnit,  so we can learn about shit that matters to OUR lives,  not yours.

Yes, it's mainly because us peons are really dumb

It is important to be self aware.

But I will make one exception.  I dearly love seeing that stupid old bastard Cosby tripping over himself going into the courtroom.  If he didn't have those two minions holding him up by the shoulders,  he woulda ended up face down on the pavement where he belongs. 
So I want the drive-by media to keep showing that over and over again.  Every time I see it I get a tingle up my leg like Chris Matthews.

2seaoat wrote:Yes,  it's mainly because us peons are really dumb

It is important to be self aware.