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A Squid Tried to Cum in Her Mouth

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It's February 2008. The location; a hospital emergency department within the city of Seoul, in South Korea.

A 63-year-old woman has arrived complaining of sharp pains in her mouth and clutching a chunk of squid from her seafood dinner. The physicians examining her find what appear to be a number of tiny writhing animals stuck to her tongue, cheeks and gums. Assuming the creatures are some form of squid parasite, the medics quickly remove them.

But a closer look shows that these are no parasites: they are in fact spermatophores - tiny guided missiles containing a payload of squid sperm.

Male squid release spermatophores during mating. They then lodge themselves in the female squid’s skin near her genital opening, and release their sperm as the female lays her eggs. “Besides being a sperm package, the squid spermatophore is also an implantation device,” says José Eduardo Marian, a squid researcher at the University of São Paulo in Brazil.

Accidents will happen, though: when the Korean woman chewed on the dead male squid’s flesh she triggered the release of his spermatophores. The sperm sacs mistook the woman’s soft mouth for a female squid and implanted themselves there instead. The dead male squid had, effectively, attempted to inseminate a human female.

Squid don’t as a rule attempt to inseminate humans - although with at least 16 such cases on the medical books the behaviour is more common than one might think.



I would encourage you to read the entire article.

It's pretty fascinating stuff.






That reminds me of an old joke... read no further if you don't like off color jokes.

Herm the sperm was determined he was going to be the one to fertilize an egg. He knew he only had a one in a million chance so he worked out all the time. He was constantly swimming laps even while the other sperms were just hanging out.

The other sperms used to tease him about his wasted efforts. "Hey Herm, you're wasting your time.", they would tell him, "You'll never be the first one there. Then you'll have wasted your whole life training while we were enjoying ourselves."

But Herm just kept on working out. "I'll be first. You'll see.", he'd tell them.

Finally the time came, the time for Herm to run the race. He got lined up right in front. He had a clear lane in front of him and he just knew he was going to win. The excitement level was high as everyone anticipated the starting gun.

About the time the gun went off... Herm got a good start... he edged ahead over the first rise... rounded a curve... cut off the others on his left... smacked the ones on the right with his tail...

Then Herm heard someone holler from behind him quite a ways... it was a little faint and he was working so hard it was difficult to make out. He figured they were just jealous of his position and speed so were trying to slow him down. He swam even harder... but the yells were persistent. Finally he looked around... he was all alone... WAY out in front. So he turned to address the losers. WHAT???

And he could make out faintly...

"Wait Herm, turn back! It's just a blow job!"



whohooooooo I have a joke too

Obama and Michelle were on a plane
Obama said he was going to toss a thousand dollar bill out the window and make one person very happy
Michelle said she was going to toss 10 $100 bills out the window and make 10 people happy
The pilot said he was going to toss them out the window and make millions of people happy.





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