Sheesh, we're in a mess.
Bloomberg's done. You just don't recover from a weak opening round like that. He not only got clobbered, he got clowned on. Every time he tried to fight back he just looked funnier. You can write off Mike.
Meanwhile, our caucus-fueled "front runner" (your favorite... and Trump's and Russia's!) Mr. Bernie McGovern got on 60 Minutes last night and loaded his pants. When asked for details of how he'd pay for all this nifty gimme-gimme shit he's proposing, he babbled a bunch of stuff (allow me to translate it for you: "I DON'T KNOW"). He did the lefty equivalent of "Mexico will pay for it." Then just to stomp a little harder while he had the clown-shoes on, he tried to wishy-wash fucking Fidel Castro into being some not-so-bad fella because, hey, at least he had a book club. Fuuuuuck. Bernie Sanders is a turd on a birthday cake, but his cult is going to keep pushing for him because they believe that if they just keep him in everybody's face long enough, everybody else is gonna fall in love with him and ignore his monumental flaws as much as they do. That's the way it is when you really really like something and think everybody else is missing out.
By the way, Motorhead makes me happier than just about anything else in this world, so I should probably just keep posting their songs until you, too, become enlightened. Right? Right!
Nifty how that works, ain't it? Effective?
Anyway, we're left with some other folks, and we're just brilliantly leaving 'em in an environment with no oxygen. We've got Joe Biden, who's a really good guy even if he is gaffe-prone. He's genuine and he'd make a great president... but, everybody's gotta hate him to prove their love for Berrrrnie. They're working overtime to make him look "weak" and a "tool of the establishment" and nah-neh-nyaaaah. Just killing him off.
We've got Warren... who's as progressive as Bernie and a hell of a lot more electable, who's proven to be the one who could probably do the best job of just rag-dolling Trump. She ripped the guts out of Bloomberg's machine in about five minutes, and Trump's more vulnerable. I'm thinking she could probably do this to him so bad people would quit fretting over her supposed "socialism" --
But, people are gonna shove her aside, because Berrrrnie. Did you know he ran track in high school? And snitched sandwiches out of his friends' parents fridges just like a real hippie? He's dreeeeamy.
Then there's Klobachar and Buttigeig, both of whom are good solid people who'd likely make really good candidates, but nobody's really looking at them much because they're concentrating on the gigantic stillbirth who's our current frontrunner. They're very good candidates. They'll probably be gone after Super Tuesday.
And once we're locked in, oh ho, then new stuff like what was on 60 Minutes is gonna get released every week up until November. Trump will declare fascism has a mandate, and he'll really get busy on dictatorship... and his dumb fucking followers will trot right along behind him like a line of baby ducks 'cuz they think that's what Republican-Jesus wants. And Bernie's cult will sit there dazed in a puddle of their own piddle, wonder how such a terrible thing could possibly have happened, and how come nobody warned 'em?
There's still a chance to stop it, but will Democrats take it? Nah. Free college! We could be Sweden!
Bloomberg's done. You just don't recover from a weak opening round like that. He not only got clobbered, he got clowned on. Every time he tried to fight back he just looked funnier. You can write off Mike.
Meanwhile, our caucus-fueled "front runner" (your favorite... and Trump's and Russia's!) Mr. Bernie McGovern got on 60 Minutes last night and loaded his pants. When asked for details of how he'd pay for all this nifty gimme-gimme shit he's proposing, he babbled a bunch of stuff (allow me to translate it for you: "I DON'T KNOW"). He did the lefty equivalent of "Mexico will pay for it." Then just to stomp a little harder while he had the clown-shoes on, he tried to wishy-wash fucking Fidel Castro into being some not-so-bad fella because, hey, at least he had a book club. Fuuuuuck. Bernie Sanders is a turd on a birthday cake, but his cult is going to keep pushing for him because they believe that if they just keep him in everybody's face long enough, everybody else is gonna fall in love with him and ignore his monumental flaws as much as they do. That's the way it is when you really really like something and think everybody else is missing out.
By the way, Motorhead makes me happier than just about anything else in this world, so I should probably just keep posting their songs until you, too, become enlightened. Right? Right!
Nifty how that works, ain't it? Effective?
Anyway, we're left with some other folks, and we're just brilliantly leaving 'em in an environment with no oxygen. We've got Joe Biden, who's a really good guy even if he is gaffe-prone. He's genuine and he'd make a great president... but, everybody's gotta hate him to prove their love for Berrrrnie. They're working overtime to make him look "weak" and a "tool of the establishment" and nah-neh-nyaaaah. Just killing him off.
We've got Warren... who's as progressive as Bernie and a hell of a lot more electable, who's proven to be the one who could probably do the best job of just rag-dolling Trump. She ripped the guts out of Bloomberg's machine in about five minutes, and Trump's more vulnerable. I'm thinking she could probably do this to him so bad people would quit fretting over her supposed "socialism" --
But, people are gonna shove her aside, because Berrrrnie. Did you know he ran track in high school? And snitched sandwiches out of his friends' parents fridges just like a real hippie? He's dreeeeamy.
Then there's Klobachar and Buttigeig, both of whom are good solid people who'd likely make really good candidates, but nobody's really looking at them much because they're concentrating on the gigantic stillbirth who's our current frontrunner. They're very good candidates. They'll probably be gone after Super Tuesday.
And once we're locked in, oh ho, then new stuff like what was on 60 Minutes is gonna get released every week up until November. Trump will declare fascism has a mandate, and he'll really get busy on dictatorship... and his dumb fucking followers will trot right along behind him like a line of baby ducks 'cuz they think that's what Republican-Jesus wants. And Bernie's cult will sit there dazed in a puddle of their own piddle, wonder how such a terrible thing could possibly have happened, and how come nobody warned 'em?
There's still a chance to stop it, but will Democrats take it? Nah. Free college! We could be Sweden!