Pensacola Discussion Forum
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

This is a forum based out of Pensacola Florida.


You are not connected. Please login or register

What If Jesus Had Been a Republican?

Go to page : 1, 2  Next

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 2]

1What If Jesus Had Been a Republican? Empty What If Jesus Had Been a Republican? on 8/27/2012, 10:29 am

Floridatexan

Floridatexan

http://www.alternet.org/belief/what-if-jesus-had-been-republican?akid=9276.129638.JK9-nN&rd=1&src=newsletter699502&t=5&paging=off

(What the scriptures might look like:)

The Lazy Paralytic

1. When Jesus returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at his home. 2. So many gathered around that there was no longer room for them, not even in front of the door; and he was speaking the word to them. 3. Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. 4. And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay. 5. When Jesus saw this he grew angry, “Why did you wreck my roof? Do you have any idea how much that cost to install? Do you know how many tables and chairs I had to make in my carpentry shop to pay for that roof? The reeds alone cost five talents. I had them carted in from Bethany.” 6. The disciples had never seen Jesus so angry about his possessions. He continued, “This house is my life. And the roof is the best part.” The disciples fell silent. 7. “It’s bad enough that you trash my private property, now you want me to heal you?” said Jesus, “And did you not see the stone walls around this house?” “Yes,” said the man’s friends. “Are these not the stone walls common to the towns and villages of Galilee?” 8. “No,” Jesus answered. “This is a gated community. How did you get in?” The man’s friends grew silent. 9. Then Jesus turned and said to the paralytic, “Besides, can’t you take care of your own health problems? I’m sure that your family can care for you, or maybe the synagogue can help out.” 10. “No, Lord,” answered the man’s friends. “There is no one. His injuries are too severe. To whom else can we go?” 11. “Well, not me,” said Jesus. “What would happen if I provided access to free health care for everyone? That would mean that people would not only get lazy and entitled, but they would take advantage of the system. 12. Besides, look at me: I’m healthy. And you know why? Because I worked hard for my money, and took care of myself.” The paralyzed man then grew sad and he addressed Jesus. “But I did work, Lord,” said the paralytic. “Until an accident rendered me paralyzed.” “Yes,” said the man’s friends. “He worked very hard.” 13. “Well,” said Jesus, “That’s just part of life, isn’t it?” “Then what am I to do, Lord?” said the paralytic. “I don’t know. Why don’t you sell your mat?” 14. All in the crowd then grew sad. “Actually, you know what you can do?” said Jesus. “You can reimburse me for my roof. Or I’ll sue you.” And all were amazed. 15. “We have never seen anything like this,” said the crowd.

The Very Poorly Prepared Crowd

1. The day was drawing to a close, and the twelve apostles came to Jesus and said, “Send the crowd away, so that they may go into the surrounding villages and countryside, to lodge and get provisions; for we are here in a deserted place.” 2 But Jesus said to them, “Why not give them something to eat?” They said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish—unless we are to go and buy food for all these people.” 3 For there were about five thousand men. And Jesus said to his disciples, “You know what? You’re right. Don’t waste your time and shekels. It would be positively immoral for you to spend any of your hard-earned money for these people. They knew full well that they were coming to a deserted place, and should have relied on themselves and brought more food. As far as I’m concerned, it’s every five thousand men for themselves.” 4. The disciples were astonished by this teaching. “But Lord,” said Thomas. “The crowd will surely go hungry.” Jesus was amazed at his hard-headedness. “That’s not my problem, Thomas. Better that their stomachs are empty than they become overly dependent on someone in authority to provide loaves and fishes for them on a regular basis. Where will it end? Will I have to feed them everyday?” “No, Lord,” said Thomas, “Just today. When they are without food. After they have eaten their fill, they will be healthy, and so better able to listen to your word and learn from you.” Jesus was grieved at Thomas’s answer. Jesus answered, “It is written: There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” So taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and took one loaf and one fish for himself, and gave the rest to the twelve, based on their previously agreed-upon contractual per diem. But he distributed none to the crowd, because they needed to be taught a lesson. So Jesus ate and he was satisfied. The disciples somewhat less so. “Delicious,” said Jesus. What was left over was gathered up and saved for Jesus, should he grow hungry in a few hours. The very poorly prepared crowd soon dispersed.

The Rich and Therefore Blessed Young Man

1. As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to him and knelt before him, and asked, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 2. And Jesus said to him, “What have you done so far?” 3. And he said to Him, “Well I was born into a wealthy family, got into a good school in Galilee because my parents donated a few thousand talents for a building with a nice reed roof, and now I have a high-paying job in the Roman treasury managing risk.” 4. Looking at him, Jesus felt an admiration for him, and said to him, “Blessed are you! For you are not far from being independently wealthy.” And the man was happy. Then Jesus said, “But there is one thing you lack: A bigger house in a gated community in Tiberias. Buy that and you will have a treasure indeed. And make sure you get a stone countertop for the kitchen. Those are really nice.” The disciples were amazed. 5. Peter asked him, “Lord, shouldn’t he sell all his possessions and give it to the poor?” Jesus grew angry. “Get behind me, Satan! He has earned it!” Peter protested: “Lord,” he said, “Did this man not have an unjust advantage? What about those who are not born into wealthy families, or who do not have the benefit of a good education, or who, despite all their toil, live in the poorer areas of Galilee, like Nazareth, your own home town?” 6. “Well,” said Jesus, “first of all, that’s why I left Nazareth. There were too many poor people always asking me for charity. They were as numerous as the stars in the sky, and they annoyed me. Second, once people start spending again, like this rich young man, the Galilean economy will inevitably rebound, and eventually some of it will trickle down to the poor. Blessed are the patient! But giving the money away, especially if he can’t write it off, is a big fat waste.” The disciples’ amazement knew no bounds. “But Lord,” they said, “what about the passages in both the Law and the Prophets that tell us to care for widows and orphans, for the poor, for the sick, for the refugee? What about the many passages in the Scriptures about justice?” 7. “Those are just metaphors,” said Jesus. “Don’t take everything so literally.”

knothead

knothead
Floridatexan wrote:
http://www.alternet.org/belief/what-if-jesus-had-been-republican?akid=9276.129638.JK9-nN&rd=1&src=newsletter699502&t=5&paging=off

(What the scriptures might look like:)

The Lazy Paralytic

1. When Jesus returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at his home. 2. So many gathered around that there was no longer room for them, not even in front of the door; and he was speaking the word to them. 3. Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. 4. And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay. 5. When Jesus saw this he grew angry, “Why did you wreck my roof? Do you have any idea how much that cost to install? Do you know how many tables and chairs I had to make in my carpentry shop to pay for that roof? The reeds alone cost five talents. I had them carted in from Bethany.” 6. The disciples had never seen Jesus so angry about his possessions. He continued, “This house is my life. And the roof is the best part.” The disciples fell silent. 7. “It’s bad enough that you trash my private property, now you want me to heal you?” said Jesus, “And did you not see the stone walls around this house?” “Yes,” said the man’s friends. “Are these not the stone walls common to the towns and villages of Galilee?” 8. “No,” Jesus answered. “This is a gated community. How did you get in?” The man’s friends grew silent. 9. Then Jesus turned and said to the paralytic, “Besides, can’t you take care of your own health problems? I’m sure that your family can care for you, or maybe the synagogue can help out.” 10. “No, Lord,” answered the man’s friends. “There is no one. His injuries are too severe. To whom else can we go?” 11. “Well, not me,” said Jesus. “What would happen if I provided access to free health care for everyone? That would mean that people would not only get lazy and entitled, but they would take advantage of the system. 12. Besides, look at me: I’m healthy. And you know why? Because I worked hard for my money, and took care of myself.” The paralyzed man then grew sad and he addressed Jesus. “But I did work, Lord,” said the paralytic. “Until an accident rendered me paralyzed.” “Yes,” said the man’s friends. “He worked very hard.” 13. “Well,” said Jesus, “That’s just part of life, isn’t it?” “Then what am I to do, Lord?” said the paralytic. “I don’t know. Why don’t you sell your mat?” 14. All in the crowd then grew sad. “Actually, you know what you can do?” said Jesus. “You can reimburse me for my roof. Or I’ll sue you.” And all were amazed. 15. “We have never seen anything like this,” said the crowd.

The Very Poorly Prepared Crowd

1. The day was drawing to a close, and the twelve apostles came to Jesus and said, “Send the crowd away, so that they may go into the surrounding villages and countryside, to lodge and get provisions; for we are here in a deserted place.” 2 But Jesus said to them, “Why not give them something to eat?” They said, “We have no more than five loaves and two fish—unless we are to go and buy food for all these people.” 3 For there were about five thousand men. And Jesus said to his disciples, “You know what? You’re right. Don’t waste your time and shekels. It would be positively immoral for you to spend any of your hard-earned money for these people. They knew full well that they were coming to a deserted place, and should have relied on themselves and brought more food. As far as I’m concerned, it’s every five thousand men for themselves.” 4. The disciples were astonished by this teaching. “But Lord,” said Thomas. “The crowd will surely go hungry.” Jesus was amazed at his hard-headedness. “That’s not my problem, Thomas. Better that their stomachs are empty than they become overly dependent on someone in authority to provide loaves and fishes for them on a regular basis. Where will it end? Will I have to feed them everyday?” “No, Lord,” said Thomas, “Just today. When they are without food. After they have eaten their fill, they will be healthy, and so better able to listen to your word and learn from you.” Jesus was grieved at Thomas’s answer. Jesus answered, “It is written: There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” So taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and took one loaf and one fish for himself, and gave the rest to the twelve, based on their previously agreed-upon contractual per diem. But he distributed none to the crowd, because they needed to be taught a lesson. So Jesus ate and he was satisfied. The disciples somewhat less so. “Delicious,” said Jesus. What was left over was gathered up and saved for Jesus, should he grow hungry in a few hours. The very poorly prepared crowd soon dispersed.

The Rich and Therefore Blessed Young Man

1. As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to him and knelt before him, and asked, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 2. And Jesus said to him, “What have you done so far?” 3. And he said to Him, “Well I was born into a wealthy family, got into a good school in Galilee because my parents donated a few thousand talents for a building with a nice reed roof, and now I have a high-paying job in the Roman treasury managing risk.” 4. Looking at him, Jesus felt an admiration for him, and said to him, “Blessed are you! For you are not far from being independently wealthy.” And the man was happy. Then Jesus said, “But there is one thing you lack: A bigger house in a gated community in Tiberias. Buy that and you will have a treasure indeed. And make sure you get a stone countertop for the kitchen. Those are really nice.” The disciples were amazed. 5. Peter asked him, “Lord, shouldn’t he sell all his possessions and give it to the poor?” Jesus grew angry. “Get behind me, Satan! He has earned it!” Peter protested: “Lord,” he said, “Did this man not have an unjust advantage? What about those who are not born into wealthy families, or who do not have the benefit of a good education, or who, despite all their toil, live in the poorer areas of Galilee, like Nazareth, your own home town?” 6. “Well,” said Jesus, “first of all, that’s why I left Nazareth. There were too many poor people always asking me for charity. They were as numerous as the stars in the sky, and they annoyed me. Second, once people start spending again, like this rich young man, the Galilean economy will inevitably rebound, and eventually some of it will trickle down to the poor. Blessed are the patient! But giving the money away, especially if he can’t write it off, is a big fat waste.” The disciples’ amazement knew no bounds. “But Lord,” they said, “what about the passages in both the Law and the Prophets that tell us to care for widows and orphans, for the poor, for the sick, for the refugee? What about the many passages in the Scriptures about justice?” 7. “Those are just metaphors,” said Jesus. “Don’t take everything so literally.”


FT,

Would this be called a parable? It speaks volumes . . . . good post.

TEOTWAWKI

TEOTWAWKI
What if Barak Obama had a lick of sense ?

What If Jesus Had Been a Republican? OBAMA-GOOFY-SMILE_s1-274

Guest


Guest
TEOTWAWKI wrote:What if Barak Obama had a lick of sense ?

What If Jesus Had Been a Republican? OBAMA-GOOFY-SMILE_s1-274

>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

so you wish to compare our POTUS with Jesus the Christ...?

if JC had been a Republican, he would not have been crucified and the Blood Sacrifice as the Lamb of God would have never happened.

got it yet Teo....?


you are not as complicated as you think you are.

othershoe1030

othershoe1030
I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

Nekochan

Nekochan
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.

TEOTWAWKI

TEOTWAWKI
Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.

Guest


Guest
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

bullshit. you don't believe that for a skinny NY minute.

the fact you even posted that verse is such a shallow attempt to justify your quasi-religious ego it reeks of mendacity.



Nekochan

Nekochan
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.
Well, when Jesus was preaching, he wasn't preaching about what the government should do for anyone, he was preaching about what neighbor should do for neighbor.

no stress

no stress
Nekochan wrote:
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.



cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers

Guest


Guest
Nekochan wrote:
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

that explains him taking a whip and beating the shit out of the money changers in the Temple who were selling blood offerings in the entrance to the Temple.

Jesus was everything but apolitical. he was a Rabbi who resisted the Roman occupation.

if you wish to argue Biblical History, try reading it and stop posting platitudes.







Nekochan

Nekochan
Oh, Mr filthy mouth wants to argue about the Bible.
This thread has nothing to do about the Bible. It's sacrilege, if anything.

Guest


Guest
Nekochan wrote:Oh, Mr filthy mouth wants to argue about the Bible.
This thread has nothing to do about the Bible. It's sacrilege, if anything.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

really...? that's your ignorant answer....?

Kind David was "he who pisseth against the wall".

and your idiot mentor called me a "fucking asshole"

i don't remember your self righteous indignation when that happened.

selective outrage is the benchmark for you and the rest of you sycophant suck ups.

it's way past pathetic.


i have forgotten more about the Bible than you even know.

othershoe1030

othershoe1030
Nekochan wrote:
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.


I think the point is being missed here. The priest who wrote the article is showing what these parables would sound like if told through the current mind-set of the Republican Party.

Guest


Guest
Nekochan wrote:
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.
Well, when Jesus was preaching, he wasn't preaching about what the government should do for anyone, he was preaching about what neighbor should do for neighbor.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

yeah right. the government was an occupying force.

he was an anarchist with a message that was against the repressive regime.

oh yeah, BTW....they killed him.

did that fact somehow escape you....?

Nekochan

Nekochan
othershoe1030 wrote:
Nekochan wrote:
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.


I think the point is being missed here. The priest who wrote the article is showing what these parables would sound like if told through the current mind-set of the Republican Party.

I understand the purpose of the article. The author is wrong on several counts. Christ was talking to individuals about how they should treat their neighbor, not to governments about how they should govern. The mind set of the Republican Party is smaller government, not that neighbor shouldn't help neighbor.

Nekochan

Nekochan
thread_bear wrote:
Nekochan wrote:
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.
Well, when Jesus was preaching, he wasn't preaching about what the government should do for anyone, he was preaching about what neighbor should do for neighbor.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

yeah right. the government was an occupying force.

he was an anarchist with a message that was against the repressive regime.

oh yeah, BTW....they killed him.

did that fact somehow escape you....?

He allowed them to kill him. Perhaps that somehow escapes you.

Guest


Guest
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.

You would be correct, but the liberals, who have not read their Bibles lately, will not agree.

Guest


Guest
Nekochan wrote:
thread_bear wrote:
Nekochan wrote:
TEOTWAWKI wrote:Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar....which excludes quite a bit of stuff.
Well, when Jesus was preaching, he wasn't preaching about what the government should do for anyone, he was preaching about what neighbor should do for neighbor.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

yeah right. the government was an occupying force.

he was an anarchist with a message that was against the repressive regime.

oh yeah, BTW....they killed him.

did that fact somehow escape you....?

He allowed them to kill him. Perhaps that somehow escapes you.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

uh huh. i guess it also escaped the Apostle Peter when he whacked that guy's ear off.

if ignorance is bliss you should be a very happy camper.

Jesus the Christ did not allow them to crucify him. he was a martyr.

perhaps that escapes you.





Nekochan

Nekochan
Of course he let them crucify him. He could have stopped it. His purpose on Earth was not to overthrow the Romans.

Guest


Guest
othershoe1030 wrote:
Nekochan wrote:
othershoe1030 wrote:I saw this story earlier today. Interesting that none of the wings have written anything to counter it. I'm wondering if they like this version?

It's a goofy thread. Jesus was/is apolitical.


I think the point is being missed here. The priest who wrote the article is showing what these parables would sound like if told through the current mind-set of the Republican Party.

So what would the parables sound like if they were using the mind-set of the Democratic party. Sounds like the author is implying that Jesus was a democrat. I don't think Jesus would approve of killing unborn children for convenience.

othershoe1030

othershoe1030
alecto wrote:

So what would the parables sound like if they were using the mind-set of the Democratic party. Sounds like the author is implying that Jesus was a democrat. I don't think Jesus would approve of killing unborn children for convenience.
The author is suggesting that the R's act as if the gospels were written as he has changed them here. That the R's budget as put forth by Ryan hurts the poor.

Seriously I think Jesus would be in favor of abstinence and also good sex education and readily available contraceptives in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies. No unwanted pregnancies, or no medically dangerous pregnancies, no abortions needed!
But of course many times those who are most outspoken about limiting abortion are also those who are against good sex ed. and contraceptives.

Guest


Guest
Nekochan wrote:Of course he let them crucify him. He could have stopped it. His purpose on Earth was not to overthrow the Romans.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

so, wax poetic and explain how he could have stopped it.

tell us how Jesus could have stopped his crucifixion.

why are you even arguing this...?

what was his purpose on earth as far as you wish to define it....?


after you explain that, why don't you explain the difference between the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Heaven....?

Guest


Guest
othershoe1030 wrote:
The author is suggesting that the R's act as if the gospels were written as he has changed them here. That the R's budget as put forth by Ryan hurts the poor.

Seriously I think Jesus would be in favor of abstinence and also good sex education and readily available contraceptives in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies. No unwanted pregnancies, or no medically dangerous pregnancies, no abortions needed!
But of course many times those who are most outspoken about limiting abortion are also those who are against good sex ed. and contraceptives.

So what in the ryan budget hurts the poor?

I am all for good sex ed and the use of contraceptives unfortunately neither one of those would stop abortions. You can have all the education money can buy, provide free contraceptives by the truck loads and it would do nothing with out personal responsibility which is often what is lacking with those that choose to abort.

Nekochan

Nekochan
thread_bear wrote:
Nekochan wrote:Of course he let them crucify him. He could have stopped it. His purpose on Earth was not to overthrow the Romans.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

so, wax poetic and explain how he could have stopped it.

tell us how Jesus could have stopped his crucifixion.

why are you even arguing this...?

what was his purpose on earth as far as you wish to define it....?


after you explain that, why don't you explain the difference between the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Heaven....?

You are the one who likes to argue. I just expressed my opinion about Jesus' preaching and his purpose of coming to Earth. Jesus spoke to the individual about how to treat your neighbor, not to governments about how to govern and how to spend tax money. He didn't come down to overthrow any human government, he came to die for our sins.

There are many Bible experts but they obviously don't agree about everything.

Sponsored content


Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 2]

Go to page : 1, 2  Next

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum