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My wife has joined a women's kayak club

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This is a group of ladies who are between fifty and seventy five who go to a canal system built in the time of Lincoln who approved the expenditures to build the canal system next to river systems in Illinois to help move grain to markets.

They meet on the canal every Wed at five and go about three miles and then turn around and return to their cars. On weekends they kayak rivers and my wife said it was a great work out with some beautiful natural areas. They still have the the old oxen paths on the side of the canal but they are overgrown and like a forest now.

Her friends are getting her in activities which will keep her busy. This activity ha a double benefit as she is keeping fit and she is enjoying our mutual passion of nature. Her friend from Kindergarten told her how tired she would be the first time, and when they all had to catch up to her and she was not even slightly tired, her friend simply said......I should have known this would be easy for you. Great activity for retired people who seek to keep active. She will be checking out kayak clubs in the Pensacola area. We loved kayaking the bayous on Garcon, but we both get a little bit nervous with the gators where we saw a state licensed person take a 12 foot gator out of Trout Bayou, and we saw some incredibly large gators on Indian Bayou......but in Illinois....no gators and really few dangerous snakes.

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Happy for your wife.

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Women need to get involved in activities because the sad reality is few will have their husband outlive them.  My wife's group has two new widows and they support each other and live life to the fullest.  She is also going to join a golf group.  I should have been dead four weeks ago.  Mrs. Seaoat has admitted she was coming next to my chair at night and checking if I was still breathing.  This is really tough on caregivers and I am thankful to her friends who keep her busy and take her mind off the inevitable.  A four mile kayak trip every Wed. and meeting new people is a wonderful transition.

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Gosh... my siblings and I settled our mother's affairs yesterday. It feels surreal. I'm going back in October for archery season. It was weird watching Wimbledon without our discussions. I hope your preparations and discussions make it easier for her. I feel sad just thinking about it. It sucks losing people.

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I know there are things I should be doing right now to make it easier for her, but I also do not want to dwell too much on the obvious.  Six years ago when it spread to my liver, I transferred all my interest in our real estate to her trust.  I have all our accounts in joint tenancy with right of survivorship, and we have changed corporations where she is now President.  We have the cremation folks lined up, and the hospice people will handle the paperwork after my death to get the remains to the cremation folks.  I have expressed my desire for no funeral, but a celebration of life at a community center where I coached kids, and I have began going through the photos to prepare for the memorial.  I have a music list and other ideas for the memorial.  

The community center has a gym above and a kitchen and large meeting room below with tables and chairs.  I think I am going to have three TVs with photos which represent youth, adulthood, and retired.  I will have photos of my family in the early version, the second version will have my wife and I raising the kids, and the final will be our grandchildren and family enjoying life.  My daughter does not like the community center and would prefer the local funeral home for wake and visitation.  I want nothing to do with sadness.  The community center was a joyous time and I want people to celebrate life and not be sad.  The only problem is that friends and family do not like that the community center does not allow alcohol.  I have told everybody to meet at a bar after the memorial and have a good time, but I want to break the cycle of sad visits to funeral homes......huge dislike of the same from my youth where the whole ritual of death seemed to be so sad.....and dictated by others who tell you how death should be handled.  F em.

I told my brother after my mother died that I want nothing and suggested that her estate should be split among our children.  He agreed, and the kids got some of the personal property she had promised them, and a modest check for each of the five grandchildren which helped them get a good start.  It sucks to deal with those estate issues, but my wife will have a simple path as I have already transferred everything to her six years ago when I thought I only had months......I sometimes feel like the ever ready rabbit......just waiting for the lights to go out.....but I keep on going......starting to get a bit freaky as I look at the doctors scratching their heads why I am not dead.......all in good time.

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Your choice for the community center is great for a celebration of life. Stick with that.

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