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To avoid Trump's parade, military announces thousands of cases of "bone spurs."

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Military Refuses to Participate in Trump's Parade, Citing Bone Spurs

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

07 February 18




The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.

Harland Dorrinson, a Pentagon spokesman, said that, within an hour of Trump’s request, more than a hundred thousand military personnel complained that they were suffering from acute cases of bone spurs that would make marching in such a parade a painful ordeal.

“In the history of the U.S. military, we have never experienced a bone-spur epidemic of this magnitude,” the spokesman said. “Regrettably, however, we have no choice but to issue thousands of deferments.”

A statement from the bone-spur sufferers said that they would continue to valiantly serve their country around the world in a non-marching capacity, and offered an alternative to their participation in Trump’s proposed pageant.

“President Trump is welcome to march in the parade all by himself if he would finally like to enlist,” the statement read.

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Brilliant. Smile

I also hear that protesters are planning to do "Tienanmen tank guy" stand-offs to block the tanks... which is a little silly, but, what could they really do? Nobody's going to run somebody down for the sake of one old fool's vainglorious parade. The whole thing's a mess waiting to happen, and serves no purpose. I don't think anyone in the world has any doubts about the military might of the United States. And if they do, dragging some missiles through the streets is only going to make things look worse. It's posturing. The kid who's always talking about how tough he is on the playground is the one you never have to waste respect on, because, invariably, they're weak and that's why they front. It's the big quiet dude with nothing to prove that you know you better not mess with. Think about it -- North Korea does these parades all the time, and it does nothing but make them look like cornered rats. It's not intimidating, it's desperate.

I'm reading on military blogs that a lot of enlisted people are resentful of being used as a prop by Trump. He claims he's trying to "honor" them, but they're not falling for it -- people have the idiot's ego well-gauged by now. He just wants to make a bunch of people who are better than he'll ever be have to salute him. It's no more, no less.

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He just wants to be Grand Marshall...


panhandler wrote:He just wants to be Grand Marshall...


I wouldn't laugh too soon ... if the idea of a "Commander-in-Chief uniform" hasn't occurred to him yet, it undoubtedly will at some point ... especially if he actually gets his big parade.  It'll prob be something along these lines:



I wonder who will get to be the designer? (doesn't Ivanka kind of style herself as a "designer"?)

(he could also use uniform for his official Presidential portrait)

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I wonder how long it will take Cadet bone spurs to replace the secret service with Russian hookers. Laughing

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I agree, this Clinton scandal where Hillary sold Uranium One to ISIS in Benghazi in order to finance the child sex ring run out of the basement of a pizza parlor that has no basement really needs to be looked into for the fifteen hundredth time. - Jeff Tiedrich


Trump is planning a parade. Someone tell him he can't throw beads off a float and expect women to show their boobs on Pennsylvania Avenue. - Tim Hanlon

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