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time is getting short

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601 Re: time is getting short on 12/31/2018, 1:21 am

I realize we're not way up there on Sea's family's totem pole, but just hope somehow someone will keep us informed...

Will still look forward to the possibility of hearing from him on New Year's, whether or not on a morphine high.

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602 Re: time is getting short on 12/31/2018, 1:18 pm

I hope he got to watch the bears yesterday and can watch them play the eagles in the playoffs.

It should be a great game.

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603 Re: time is getting short on 12/31/2018, 4:11 pm

wonderful time at the hotel with the girls. They love going out to eat with us, and their mom has let them stay with us for new years eve....we got party favors at the Casino and they are decorating the living room for tonight. I got eight oysters down and have a burst of strength, but nothing stops the pain. I went yesterday with no morphine, and today I am going to try ibuprohen to kill the liver pain.....I am below 160 lbs and can find no comfort as the tumors in my bones and back are now visible to the wife, and very difficult to find comfort, but make no mistake....I will ride this to the end and it has been a joy to see these grandkids handle and nurture my illness.

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604 Re: time is getting short on 12/31/2018, 4:29 pm

Great post, Sea. Sounds like a priceless first-hand lesson in genuine love and compassion for those kids, who will doubtless be better people for having seen their grampa through this.

Keep those oysters comin'! And here's hoping the ibuprofen does some good. Our own NSAID preference by far is Aleve, but each to their own.

Have a wonderful New Year's Eve celebration with your loved ones. Will be thinking of you.

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605 Re: time is getting short on 1/1/2019, 3:18 am

I have to ask why are you suffering w/ the pain? Is there some point to that?

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606 Re: time is getting short on 1/1/2019, 5:31 pm

Viking, I'm sure you want to hear from Sea, not from me, but I'll just throw in here that I seem to recall Sea's (1) saying that opioid pills were terribly constipating which created another whole set of problems, and (2) implying that being on morphine meant you were on your way out -- which isn't true, btw, but a lot of people see it that way.

Morphine in higher doses does often cause delusions/hallucinations, though, and I'm thinking Sea values his mental acuity above being pain free.

As we know, he's tried other things like the medicinal marijuana derivatives, which seemed to help a lot early on, but I'm presuming their effectiveness is waning.

In fact I'm presuming a lot, and, doubtless like you, would much rather have Seaoat able to answer your question himself. Perhaps he will.

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607 Re: time is getting short on 1/1/2019, 11:11 pm

Good answer RLL.

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608 Re: time is getting short on 1/2/2019, 1:35 am

opiods cause more pain when they constipate and block....so I have to alternate and take a prescribed stool softner. I am sorry to say this, but dying involves unmitigated pain.

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609 Re: time is getting short on 1/2/2019, 3:56 am

I thought we were advanced enough that people were comfortable from pain when they were dying? At least that's what they said.

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610 Re: time is getting short on 1/2/2019, 9:52 am

If you still can use the bathroom, being constipated and in horrible pain from the opiates blocking your digestive tract. With Endocrine cancer, the hormones are already attacking the large intestine fluctuating between the two extremes.

I could just take the eye dropper of morphine and go for about two days without much pain.....but each day the gut pain grows.....it is horrible......so I alternate days, eat the fruit cocktail that I can get down, and take each day I am given. Stronger today so I am taking the girls home and playing cards for a little bit, and hopefully will be able to eat a buffet without the mucus. The bone met on my tailbone now is always in pain......but that also could be the radiation attacking....one can hope in this beaten 150 something body.....

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611 Re: time is getting short on 1/2/2019, 10:23 am

Sorry you're having pain, but glad you're getting some fun things done despite it. Hang in there, keep at it.

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612 Re: time is getting short on 1/3/2019, 2:05 am

2seaoat wrote:The bone met on my tailbone now is always in pain......but that also could be the radiation attacking....one can hope in this beaten 150 something body.....

Hope is a good thing, and I'm glad to hear you're still allowing yourself some!

How did the cards and the buffet go?

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613 Re: time is getting short on 1/3/2019, 5:20 am

We shared prime rib and french onion soup. I was surprised how much meat I could eat without the death gurgle of mucus. However, by the evening my digestive cramping got so bad we had to do five drops of the morphine and double up on the medical pot. I told my wife it is time to give up. The girls were very quiet in the car taking them home. I have discussed with them that they may not be able to come out to see me because I am getting very weak. The truth is that with every meal is uncontrollable pain, and it is easy to see why people in hospice simply quit eating. I am so weak. I am having a huge problem typing on most days, and I am amazed to be typing now.

I won eighty dollars at the casino and simply had to leave after fifteen minutes as the pain was unbearable. Dealers were coming up to me and giving me a hug in my wheelchair. I have know some of these people over twenty years. One said to my wife......we will not be seeing you again.....she simply said....probably not. Do not let anybody convince you that death is easy or painless.....it was never designed to be the same. It is horrible.

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614 Re: time is getting short on 1/3/2019, 11:49 am

Memories of my dad come flooding back.

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615 Re: time is getting short on 1/3/2019, 5:40 pm

2seaoat wrote:I told my wife it is time to give up.

 Do not let anybody convince you that death is easy or painless.....it was never designed to be the same.  It is horrible.

What's awfully phenomenal to watch is the roller coaster ride you're on, Sea. I can't imagine anything more difficult, or more illustrative of the raw human condition.

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616 Re: time is getting short on 1/4/2019, 1:48 pm

I owe a big thank you to Dreams. She has been insistent that I get the pain under control, but the opiates constipate and cause cramping. So the hospice nurse was here and she agreed with Dreams that we may have to make up a cocktail of pain relievers and muscle relaxers. After the worst day since I have been ill on Wed., we got the cocktail and used it. Cramping was immediately reduced by fifty percent, liver pain was good, bone mets were better, but I spend all day trying to position myself off the bone met on my tailbone, but it can really get bad, but now I simply shift my tailbone to the side of the lazy boy, and the muscle relaxants get me comfortable. It has been three months of unbearable pain as my body has simply rotted away eighty pounds since I have been sick. This forum has been good for all of us. People actually giving advice which helps and all of you have given me so much help. I am sorry this story is such a downer, but I promised Bob I would ride this out to the end. Thank you to all. I am taking my daughter on Sat Jan 12 to downtown hotel next to northwestern. We will try to go to museums and restaurants now that we have the cart, but the most exciting thing is I am off the medical pot which was not cutting the pain, but as I increased the dosage with the opiates, I was in a blur....my typing became really really hard. I am not telling you I have more than sixty days, but if I can balance the pain, find meals which do not have the death gurgle mucus, and simply live three months, the PRRT will have maximized the kill rate on tumors. I think I am seeing some slight color difference from the orange oily death poops to traditional fecal matter.

However, the caveat is despite the pain being reduced and my head clearing out, I still am getting weaker. I got a little hope. Jan. 12th we do the sando, and I will have a real good idea at that time if I can stabalize the disease which will not give me much quality of life....wheelchair, no driving, and totalpressure on Mrs. Seaoat. I do not think she could see me in pain much longer. I try to hide the pain, but she will come in when I am sleeping and moaning with each breath..........so here we go...thanks to all of you who have helped my quality of life....I will forever be thankful for suggestions.

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617 Re: time is getting short on 1/4/2019, 2:16 pm

Good to hear. I like the goals.

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618 Re: time is getting short on 1/4/2019, 3:39 pm

What Pkr said.

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619 Re: time is getting short on 1/4/2019, 5:02 pm

2seaoat wrote:So the hospice nurse was here and she agreed with Dreams that we may have to make up a cocktail of pain relievers and muscle relaxers. After the worst day since I have been ill on Wed., we got the cocktail and used it.

Excellent idea, and I'm glad it's getting some good results! Hopefully you'll get some relief without the bad side effects. Keep at it!

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620 Re: time is getting short on 1/4/2019, 7:30 pm

Happy for the relief!

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621 Re: time is getting short on 1/6/2019, 8:42 am

My brother and his wife are coming up from Arizona now that I am below 159....it will be a nice visit because the muscle relaxing pills are making me quite comfortable. I had gotten to the point of six or seven pot gummies which were not lowering the bone met pain, and I was getting groggy. I started splitting one gummy a day. The most important thing is that I have better clarity of thought and I am having less difficulty getting around. The weakness is continuing to grow, but we should have a nice visit.

Then I actually get to watch the bears play in a play off game......I feel like I have already died because the Bears were ranked last coming into this season. I think coaching is far more important than talent sometimes.

I go for my sando this sat. in the morning. We are renting two hotel rooms downtown and will spend saturday and sunday with all four grandkids doing the museums. This electric wheelchair is the cat's meow, but I have lost the muscles which support my head so I kind of lean over most of the time. I hope to take all four kids to the signature room for our last lunch on top of the Hanncock over looking Navy pier. I have not been able to have a bowel movement since using the morphine in regular four hour intervals......at some point we will see if there will be blockage and pain, but for right now the absence of pain even for an hour is a gift. I have had two monster shrimp and no allergic reaction.....delicious as Mrs. Seaoat and I use to sit and eat buckets of shrimp from this geodesic dome on Biloxi beach where we would pick and clean and spend the afternoon enjoying the beach. One day I could no longer eat shrimp without a horrible allergic reaction. The challenge now is getting tasty food into my body to allow me to live long enough for maximum prrt radiation on the bone mets. I wish I was more fun, but I am just happy to get up every morning.

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622 Re: time is getting short on 1/6/2019, 2:35 pm

Seaoat Strong!

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623 Re: time is getting short on 1/8/2019, 4:57 am

2seaoat wrote:I owe a big thank you to Dreams.  She has been insistent that I get the pain under control, but the opiates constipate and cause cramping.  So the hospice nurse was here and she agreed with Dreams that we may have to make up a cocktail of pain relievers and muscle relaxers.  After the worst day since I have been ill on Wed., we got the cocktail and used it.  Cramping was immediately reduced by fifty percent, liver pain  was good, bone mets were better, but I spend all day trying to position myself off the bone met on my tailbone, but it can really get bad, but now I simply shift my tailbone to the side of the lazy boy, and the muscle relaxants get me comfortable.  It has been three months of unbearable pain as my body has simply rotted away eighty pounds since I have been sick.  This forum has been good for all of us.  People actually giving advice which helps and all of you have given me so much help.  I am sorry this story is such a downer, but I promised Bob I would ride this out to the end.  Thank you to all.  I am taking my daughter on Sat Jan 12 to downtown hotel next to northwestern.  We will try to go to museums and restaurants now that we have the cart, but the most exciting thing is I am off the medical pot which was not cutting the pain, but as I increased the dosage with the opiates, I was in a blur....my typing became really really hard.  I am not telling you I have more than sixty days, but if I can balance the pain, find meals which do not have the death gurgle mucus, and simply live three months, the PRRT will have maximized the kill rate on tumors.  I think I am seeing some slight color difference from the orange oily death poops to traditional fecal matter.

However, the caveat is despite the pain being reduced and my head clearing out, I still am getting weaker.  I got a little hope.  Jan. 12th we do the sando, and I will have a real good idea at that time if I can stabalize the disease which will not give me much quality of life....wheelchair, no driving, and totalpressure on Mrs. Seaoat.   I do not think she could see me in pain much longer.  I try to hide the pain, but she will come in when I am sleeping and moaning with each breath..........so here we go...thanks to all of you who have helped my quality of life....I will forever be thankful for suggestions.

Oatie, I'm not a fan of pain and suffering. There's no point and no nobility in that. I don't know why you would promise someone you'll go to the end? I know it sounds morbid but when it gets unbearable take the cocktail and then some to the end. That's what I'd do. My friend who was dying of stomach cancer at 45 did that and I was so glad she did. It was horrible to watch someone you loved suffer so. Go out on your own terms. Bless your heart.

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624 Re: time is getting short on 1/9/2019, 5:48 pm

2seaoat wrote:  The challenge now is getting tasty food into my body to allow me to live long enough for maximum prrt radiation on the bone mets.  I wish I was more fun, but I am just happy to get up every morning.

Good for you, Sea. Thinking of you daily, and hoping for another post soon. Hang in there for the sando shot!

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625 Re: time is getting short on 1/11/2019, 2:01 am

I am eating a lot of Oysters, and for the week kept my weight stable for the first time in six months. Going to chicago for sando shot sat morning and staying two nights this weekend with two rooms, the granddaughters, and daughter. The electric wheelchair is the cat's meow, and had a wonderful two days at the hotel. My brother made a nice gesture and made a disbursement from the partnership which will pretty much allow me to stay at hotels and restaurants until the end. We are tasting some incredible food, but I still am getting weaker.

If I do not find more nutrition, I probably will not be able to get out of bed in three weeks. Want to make super bowl party in Cape Coral.....doubtful.

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