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Tipping

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1 Tipping on 12/18/2017, 1:12 am

Over the years Bob and I would at various times talk about tipping in threads. Well, my wife and I in retirement have even become more generous tippers. I remember working at a country club as a busboy dishwasher and when I would deal with the public how demanding and mean they could be. It has gotten so bad that we are regularly tipping over 30% at breakfast. Breakfast is the cheapest meal of the day and wait staff working breakfast really get screwed in tipping. When my wife goes with their breakfast club to a restaurant it is a cluster. Some of the women do not want to tip 15% and think it should be less and some do not tip. My wife has been appalled, and all she does is double back and lay an additional ten dollars on the table, which gets the women mad......and my wife simply says it makes me feel better......what is she going to say.....you cheap old biddies are demanding of wait staff, complain, and then do not tip.......what horrible behavior from otherwise good people.

I do not think people should go out unless they understand that people depend on those tips. It drives me crazy when we go out with another couple who get angry if you leave a penny over 15%.......again the double back trick works, but I have really tired on how cheap people are with tipping. Until you have worked in a restaurant environment, there never can be a full understanding of how cheap people are.

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2 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 2:15 am

We, too, have become more generous tippers in retirement. In fact my husband used to be the rather rigid skinflint in the family but has come to enjoy tipping more freely, and this delights me no end. We will typically 'round up' a restaurant tab - e.g., a $56 dinner tab (including tax) becomes $60 for tipping purposes and we'll tip 20% of that as a minimum; more for very attentive service and/or especially at the holidays.

At breakfast, even for a teeny tiny Waffle House-type tab we'll always tip significantly more than 20%, though I can't say we'd leave 10 bucks on, say, a $12 or $15 tab -- but at least four. Still, I really don't feel it's our responsibility that a server is working breakfast vs. dinner.

Our 'regular' server at a nice beach hotel restaurant where we go to breakfast once a week (and always ask for her) gets a nice tip on the check, plus at holiday time we hand her a Christmas card with a note thanking her for her excellent service all year, and $35 in cash to "buy a little something" for herself. This is similar, in varying amounts, to the type of thing we do at Christmas for other 'regular' service people such as our pest control guy or newspaper carrier, presuming they've been reliable.

Like seaoat, we'll also tip mechanical service crews. (Once we told the guys to have lunch and a Starbucks on us, and they corrected the Starbucks to a beer. Ha.)

I know people who are way more generous than we are, but we do what we feel comfortable with for our particular fiscal station in life.

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3 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 11:04 am

I agree... we tip higher and feel good about it.

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4 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 1:22 pm

I'm a huge tipper. I don't eat out much, luckily, but when I do I've been known to tip more than the cost of the meal. A lot of my friends have been wait staff and told me stories about how it is (some restaurants don't even pay minimum wage because they count their employee's tips making up the difference... which is wrong) never have much respect for people who aren't generous with a tip.

Once I was road-tripping to Tupelo with some friends from work and we stopped for lunch at Cracker Barrel. I hate Cracker Barrel. With all the old lawnmowers and shit hanging on the wall, it always feels like being a fugitive from the law and eating bad food stolen from a dumpster while hiding out in somebody's toolshed. The other people in there always give me the feeling that if I were to play a Dukes of Hazzard ringtone, every third person's going to check their cell. I don't have high-toned tastes at all - I'm a McDonald's kind of guy - but I feel kinda trashy eating at a place that sells Duck Dynasty DVDs. Not my kind of place at all. But this woman from work -- we'll call her Mary -- loves Cracker Barrel for some reason - I think it's that they serve breakfast food all day - and she was the only female among us, so we differed to the lady and went.

The waitress we got was pretty inept. She seemed to be in some kind of desperate situation; she was in her 50's, while all the other waitresses were in their 20's, and she didn't seem too bright, like maybe this was the best job she could get. She was in a huge hurry (she explained that someone didn't show up for work and she was having to work their tables, too, and it was her first week there) so she had to scurry around a lot. She forgot part of one order, knocked over a water glass on me, and was generally just having a really hard time. She seemed near tears and was constantly apologizing, trying her best to be nice, but she kept screwing things up. But, she was obviously trying -- it wasn't bad service because she was neglectful or didn't care, it was just bad because she was new at the job and had been given too many tables to juggle and stuff, really stressed. She was obviously overwhelmed and embarrassed, humiliated by the whole thing.

Mary -- who's never the nicest person to deal with -- complained about the poor woman through the entire meal and was snappy with her. When it came time to leave a tip, Mary put down two dollars and said she shouldn't even leave that much, but she didn't want to just leave nothing. I put down $15, even though what I'd ordered was less than ten bucks. Mary starts yelling at me that I'm crazy for giving that waitress that much after she spilled water on me and she said "You're overtipping, I'm taking my tip back!"

I told her not to touch it, that what I tipped was none of her goddamn business and that it was pretty clear that the waitress was having a lousy day and needed a little compassion... and rather than taking her measly two bucks back she ought to put down five more. Mary didn't, and was mad at me the rest of the day. I didn't care, it was worth it.

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5 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 2:18 pm

Ya... I've always enjoyed tipping... guess I got it from my dad. I have a brother that had restaurants and my oldest waited and bartended through college. It's a difficult job and I really appreciate them.

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6 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 4:19 pm

Something....you sure trashed Cracker Barrel. We enjoy it when traveling. When I was traveling 3 weekends a month with my AAU basketball team we ate there at least twice every weekend so the girls would have veggies and of course fried apples. You can always count on a good hot meal.

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7 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 7:04 pm

I am not a big cracker barrel fan. I have had some good meals, but in general zsomething hit the nail on the head. However, I will admit when traveling you at least know what you are going to get.

I always for years tipped on a 15 dollar pizza we would pick up by handing the cashier a twenty and told her to keep the change. Well, we were regulars and the staff would light up when we came in because most people do not tip when picking up an order, and when other people waiting around for their pizza see the same there is a spillover. So I pay the cashier the twenty and tell her to keep it, and I am getting in my car when the cashier says"I think you made a mistake"......She had two twenty dollar bills which were brand new and had spooned together where I thought I had given her a twenty. I thanked her for her honesty, and she said we all know you leave a five dollar tip, not a twenty five dollar tip.....too funny, a better man would have told her to keep the twenty.

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8 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 9:01 pm

You can call me a chiseler if you want ... I don't care. I tip 15% .. ocassionally more if the server went above & beyond in some way.

and sometimes less if the service was really bad .....  and the circumstances were not something outside of the server's control, of course.

And if the service was above-average or below-average, we will often let the manager on duty know.

I hate the whole tipping thing.  I wish they'd do away with it.

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9 Re: Tipping on 12/18/2017, 11:55 pm

I hate the whole tipping thing. I wish they'd do away with it.

I agree if every person on a wait staff was making a living wage, but tipping has become their survival. Until there is change, I will continue to consider a generous tip just part of the cost of my meal.

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10 Re: Tipping on 12/19/2017, 1:52 am

zsomething wrote:I told her not to touch it, that what I tipped was none of her goddamn business and that it was pretty clear that the waitress was having a lousy day and needed a little compassion... and rather than taking her measly two bucks back she ought to put down five more.  Mary didn't, and was mad at me the rest of the day.  I didn't care, it was worth it.

Zsomething, thanks for the interesting story. You're obviously a very special person in the way you related to the difficulties the poor server was suffering, and of course in your compassionate tip offering. I bow to you.

As for Cracker Barrel, our problem with it was always that the southern "comfort food" they offered was largely unsuitable for my husband's heart-healthy needs. Way too much fat and salt and fried stuff. Maybe the menu's more diverse now, but back in our traveling days it was death on a stick. After one or two tries, we never went back.

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11 Re: Tipping on 12/19/2017, 6:36 am

I thght z was zmans daughter?

Is this a relative? I wouldn't have wasted two seconds on such a miserable POS if I had know otherwise.

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12 Re: Tipping on 12/19/2017, 12:08 pm

PkrBum wrote:I thght z was zmans daughter?

Is this a relative? I wouldn't have wasted two seconds on such a miserable POS if I had know otherwise.

No, you thickwitted moron, I'm not a relative. Nor am I anybody's daughter - I'm a guy. I've told enough girlfriend stories and fight stories around here to have made that much pretty clear to anybody with any intuition in 'em at all.

I've clarified the I'm-not-a-relative thing about ten times here already, too... at least once, I'm pretty sure, to you. You apparently can't read any better than you can write, and your own total lack of self-knowledge spreads to everyone else. My own name has a Z in it, hence the handle; it has nothing to do with any other Z ever on the board. I never got to meet Z-man, although he seemed cool when I scrolled back and looked at old posts. So, I'm sorry I missed out on that. His daughter also seemed cool, but didn't stay around for long. But no, I am no relation whatsoever.

And as far as miserable POS's go, believe me, that feeling is way more than mutual. If knowing that I was no relation was all it'd take to get your boring, one-track, tedious, borderline-illiterate ass to stop wasting my time with your delusional babble, I'd have made double sure to clarify that far earlier, because you are easily the dumbest, most worthless excuse for a human I've met online in years. I'd probably enjoy beating the living Christmas out of you, but talking to you? No. Frankly, I don't know why anybody here puts up with you. You're clearly loathed, but you can't seem to take a hint. I've tried to be hateful enough to you to get you to not want to talk to me, but you seem to either have no pride or a high level of masochism, so that didn't work. If it was thinking I was somebody's relative that did it, then, good lord, I don't know how you could've had that assumption all this time.

So, we straight on that now? Finally? Because never being talked to by you again would be one of the best Christmas presents I could ever get.

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13 Re: Tipping on 12/19/2017, 12:16 pm

RealLindaL wrote:
zsomething wrote:I told her not to touch it, that what I tipped was none of her goddamn business and that it was pretty clear that the waitress was having a lousy day and needed a little compassion... and rather than taking her measly two bucks back she ought to put down five more.  Mary didn't, and was mad at me the rest of the day.  I didn't care, it was worth it.

Zsomething, thanks for the interesting story.  You're obviously a very special person in the way you related to the difficulties the poor server was suffering, and of course in your compassionate tip offering.   I bow to you.

As for Cracker Barrel, our problem with it was always that the southern "comfort food" they offered was largely unsuitable for my husband's heart-healthy needs.   Way too much fat and salt and fried stuff.  Maybe the menu's more diverse now, but back in our traveling days it was death on a stick.  After one or two tries, we never went back.

Thanks. Smile It didn't take much compassion, though -- the lady was obviously having a hell-day. She was embarrassed and needed to know somebody didn't hate her. Everybody else at the table picked up on that except Mary. Mary's always been pretty cold. The only time I'd begrudge a tip would be if somebody obviously doesn't care what they're doing... and so far I've never run into a waiter/waitress who had that attitude. Most of the time even the bad ones try, and deserve some recognition.

Cracker Barrel's just not my thing, really. I've eaten in some low-rent biker-bar dives that weren't as bad. Every time I've left one I've had to treat the food like an organ transplant -- there's a period of waiting to see if it's going to be rejected. It's like a gut full of rocks.

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14 Re: Tipping on 12/19/2017, 12:19 pm

2seaoat wrote:I hate the whole tipping thing.  I wish they'd do away with it.

I agree if every person on a wait staff was making a living wage, but tipping has become their survival.  Until there is change, I will continue to consider a generous tip just part of the cost of my meal.

Yep. When I found out restaurants will underpay people because they count on tips to make up for it, I always made sure I tip. Restaurants should ignore tipping when they pay workers... it's a gratuity to the server, not a "hey, let me help you increase your profits!" move to the owner. It's always irked me that the owners view it otherwise.

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15 Re: Tipping on 1/6/2018, 5:39 pm

I was a bus boy/ dishwasher at a country club at 15. I saw some wonderful people and some horrible people. When you are looked at like you are their servant who can be abused, it leaves a lifetime of nobody has to put up with that chit. I was helping wait staff at a fashion show when they asked me to take a tray of desserts out and place it on a folding tray table. In the process of putting the tray down all the cakes landed in a ladies lap, which resulted in horrible attacks on a 15 year old kid by a mob of middle age woman in their Sunday best. I certainly did not do it on purpose, and but for the gracious lady who had cake icing in her hair, shoulders, breasts, and a pile of plates and cakes in her lap, the experience would have been the worst. She quieted the mob down and said everything was just fine. I picked up my mess and went into the kitchen and explained to my boss what I did and that I wanted to call it a day....he said ok.......the workman comp claim of twelve old ladies beating the snot out of kid was too much for him to risk. Generous tipping does make a difference in people's lives. I am a very generous tipper in poker and all the dealers are happy I am in the room because I shame other players who fail to tip.

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16 Re: Tipping on 1/8/2018, 11:55 pm

After one of our daughters working her way through college at a Waffle House and one doing the same at a Chili's, my husband and I believe in tipping even if we think the service is bad.
No one knows what's going on behind the scenes in the restaurant and often the waiters and waitresses get blamed for something that happens in the kitchen. I kind of assume that people aren't waiters or waitresses because it's their life's ambition. They pretty much all need the money and I feel better giving it to them than I do paying it on the bill, to be honest.

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