Then put a diaper on before you get in the car. Dying ain't a pretty thing.
When I tell the story of what we did yesterday, living is not so pretty at times. We have had a septic tank repaired about four times with large bills for new sewage pumps and clean outs because Santa Rosa made us put in a huge mound. It started when Katrina hit we had just gotten an occupancy permit and I had twenty plus storm refugees living in our new house. Needless to say a lot of hygiene products were improperly flushed. About 3k in repairs and as we have not been down here to review the work we just assumed folks were being honest. We decided to be proactive and get the septic tank pumped, and pull the old pumps and replace the gray water pump and the black water pump, and prior contractors had complained about the deck which ran out to the septic tank and only gave about three and a half feet of clearance on the two pumps.
Well, we found out we were cheated. Only one pump was changed out, and the last person who did the repair used duct tape on a two inch pipe which runs from the sewage pump to the septic tank. We were never there long enough, but we smelled sewer gas. We did not think about it because from the high school to the new YMCA all you do is smell sewer gas, but when we took the sawzall to cut the existing vent pipes and pump pipe we found out they never pumped out the sewage to replace the pump, but simply put the pump on top of the sewage and never secured the lid with screws and as we had saturated the soil with bleach and pool chlorine tabs last week knowing we were going to crawl under the deck and did not want to have us sitting in contaminated soil. When we got down there it was the most disgusting job I have done in forty years.
We had to take two two by six boards and using deck boards which created a clean surface which was a mini four by four deck under the deck for us to work on pulling the pumps so the septic pumper can pump the basins and pump the tanks. Once this is done, it is simply a matter of taking a male pvc connector into the pump basin connected to the new pump and lowering it, and then some simple plumbing connections avoiding 90 degree turns, so we had to get lots of 45 and 22.5 degree connectors.
So as we sat under the deck and realized we had been charged over 3k and the gray water tank was never pumped, only one new pump had been replaced, and that they just threw the pump on top of a packed basin which just allowed waste product to spill on the ground under the deck. As my beautiful wife looked down as the two of us were working off the new clean deck we built, we realized that rubbers were everywhere.......she slowly looks up at me and says.......I am going to get drunk on my birthday honey......we were up to our neck in chit and I was hurting so bad from lifting these very heavy sewage pumps and twisting and crawling under the deck that the two of us just started laughing.....and did not stop laughing for three minutes. It was uncontrollable laughter....we would look down at the basin which was the most disgusting experience either of us had experienced in years, and just laughed our aszes off that two educated, financially comfortable people had somehow gotten themselves into this position.
The killer was the one repair was billed to us at over 2k dollars, and I use a plumbing supplier here locally where I get wholesale prices and we got a top of the line grinder sewage pump which would normally be six hundred dollars for three hundred, yet the other 1700 dollars we paid was for these robbers to simply drop the pump in the hole and not properly close the lid with screws.....and use duct tape to finish their job......all because it was hidden under the deck. Thankfully, we have used a plumber and heating and AC people recommended here, but this started as a simple plumbing job as my wife and I have changed out grinder pumps in our basement bathrooms repeated times without the disgust we faced yesterday......So little seaoat took a beating as I laid two pallets of sod two days ago, and then this.......nope.....I cannot drink, but I am thinking about getting drunk tonight.