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Hey Bob

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326 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 2:18 pm

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I agree Sal... Bob often spoke of that fear. That might be of some comfort.

327 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 2:47 pm

Something is not making sense. He was about to transition, and forum members have posted concern about his care on threads and PMs, and boom right when these folks were going to lose a bed, Bob checks out and is not responsive. Sal is right. Bob made it very clear that he would prefer a quick end, rather than months or years in a nursing home, but without some idea of the status of the cancer, I cannot say what I really want to say. I was under the assumption from Bob's posts a month ago that the therapy had his cancer in a stable state. I was under the impression that the brain tumor was removed with a clear margin. I was under the impression that he had a follow up to assure the same.

Is there an independent doctor from this facility which is supervising Bob's medical course. Who is making the decisions to medicate Bob? Yes, at the very end it is standard procedure to just flood the patient with morphine, but Bob has been reported to be lucid and he had decided to leave that facility. This is twice I have just finished surgery and cannot get down to Pensacola and I am pained with guilt that I could not get to that nursing home four weeks ago. Something is not right, or I am simply in the dark to the progression of his cancer.

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328 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 3:03 pm

Seaoat....they were also discussing the gamma knife surgery. in the nursing homes they have a doctor that follows the patients....following medicare/medicaid requirements. The primary physician does not follow patients in the nursing home. Seems like the surgeon and oncologist are not around.

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329 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 3:18 pm

I am just wondering if the doctors briefed Bob on time schedule on the cancer. I just do not get the sudden decline.

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330 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 3:28 pm

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2seaoat wrote:I am just wondering if the doctors briefed Bob on time schedule on the cancer.  I just do not get the sudden decline.

It sounds like the ca in his brain became aggressive.

331 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 3:49 pm

I am so proud of all of you who visited him. I cannot express how deeply I respect each of you. Bob is loved by all of us, and I will be angry for a couple of days. I do not usually get angry about much, except I feel he just was not getting the best care. I have personally had the ball dropped repeatedly with utter incompetence, but Bob made his decision on treatment. He also probably was informed as to the probabilities with the cancer becoming aggressive. I just wanted to talk to him, or share a post. This is very sudden and emotional for all of us. I had this sense that his cancer was stable. It appears that was an assumption which was wrong. There are many good people on this forum. Bob and his care of his mother proved to me forever that he was a kind wonderful person who loved life and could laugh at himself. I wish this was just a big joke that Bob was pulling, and he would announce that he is in Maui enjoying a vacation, but sadly the PMs indicate this is a nightmare.

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332 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 4:29 pm

Stress, fear, and despair take a tremendous toll on the body and its ability to defend itself.

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333 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 6:27 pm

Tried to call Bob...went straight to voicemail.


PKRBUM......what about the possibility of a UTI. Bob was on antibiotics for pneumonia but he may have a resistant infection.. causing him to be unresponsive. While visiting Bob told me he was having problems urinating....no syptoms other than takes a while to get his stream going which is common

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334 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 6:35 pm

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Joanimaroni wrote:Tried to call Bob...went straight to voicemail.


PKRBUM......what about the possibility of a UTI. Bob was on antibiotics for pneumonia but he may have a resistant infection.. causing him to be unresponsive. While visiting Bob told me he was having problems urinating....no syptoms other than takes a while to get his stream going which is common

I'll be sure to ask if he calls tonight.

335 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 7:07 pm

Massive mismanagement by the facility. The first Monday when Bob was in the snf he was depressed and may have call his doc and cancelled some appts. They were rescheduled I believe for next week at least the ct scan, that would have been his first scan since the surgery to see if they got it all. There is a doctor over the snf to give direction's I doubt he ever visited Bob. The doc takes his info from the aides and nurses.

Now Bob did make it general knowledge where he is that it wasn't worth living in his present state. Let your mind wander. I'm done but I'm fucking mad.



Last edited by ppaca on 10/30/2016, 11:40 am; edited 1 time in total

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336 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 7:24 pm

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It's perfectly understandable ppaca. I wish I knew more... or was there. I'm good at getting answers.

337 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 8:33 pm

You are expressing my emotions exactly. I am piszed that I could not visit him three weeks ago, but because of going on medicare, I had to get those scans and then the lung surgery and my double shots on the second which means it is still probably one week before I can go down. I want to talk to Bob and see if he understands what they are proposing for treatment, care, and whether he has given an informed consent to what has been proposed. I am really piszed that they have not done the follow up scan. Look, Bob has been dealt some rotten cards, and none of us know what it is like to be in his shoes right now, but something is not setting well with me on this. It is an instinct after 10 years of dealing with seniors and guardianship issues, I can tell you that some facilities should have people put in jail concerning the treatment of patients. If a patient does not have a spouse, or children, then they often do not have an advocate who will even be recognized by the facility. I do not know if Bob has executed a POA for Health care and who is making health care decisions for him if he is out of it and not thinking clearly.

I am relieved that everybody is giving a chit and visiting him. More eyes, and more concern will keep the facility on guard, but that follow up Cat scan is critical. He needs to know the status of his cancer. I get giving up when you are facing loss of mobility, but if the cancer is stable he could be looking at a year or more of quality life. There are some things which do not add up here. Did the Doctors tell him that the brain tumor margins were bad? What follow up plan on radiation and chemo if the cancer is not stable? What has been done to secure a lift which can help him onto the toilet, bed, and bathing. Is his house handicap accessible. Has a hospital bed been rented or secured? I just wonder who has the POA and what the game plan is.

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338 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 9:17 pm

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From what I understand... hospice will set up the equipment and care. I just don't know what's happening right now. I expect a call if that plan changes or there's further development in Bob's condition. I'd advice we all try to calm our concerns right now... whatever could've or should've been done is the past. I have utmost faith that hospice will handle this with great care and thoroughness.

339 Re: Hey Bob on 10/28/2016, 9:18 pm

PkrBum wrote:From what I understand... hospice will set up the equipment and care. I just don't know what's happening right now. I expect a call if that plan changes or there's further development in Bob's condition. I'd advice we all try to calm our concerns right now... whatever could've or should've been done is the past. I have utmost faith that hospice will handle this with great care and thoroughness.
Agreed..... worried and praying!

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340 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 1:09 am

ppaca wrote:since my wife works at an assisted living facility that might as well be a nursing home and that owner is now in prison

Ppaca, you don't have to respond, of course, but if by chance you're speaking of Belie Williams, I felt when he was convicted that prison couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.  I did volunteer work at The Villas ALF for several years in the early 2000's and considered him a perfectly awful person.   I was only able to stay because the activities director at the time was a buffer so that I didn't have to interact directly with Williams very often myself.  He was always accusing others (especially his employees) of doing wrong or being self-interested/having ulterior/selfish motives, and it became quite obvious that this was because he himself was guilty of all those defects, NOT the employees.  Talk about projection! Morale was in the basement.

I note the facility is under a different name now and I assume new ownership.  Wonder how things are these days.....

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341 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 1:18 am

PkrBum wrote: I'd advice we all try to calm our concerns right now... whatever could've or should've been done is the past.

Wise words, Pkr.   Even though I thoroughly understand and relate to everyone's anger and frustration, if our Bob is now unresponsive and given only hours or days to live from when morphine is started, I fear there is truly nothing more we can do for him other than remember him with the kindness and affection you all have and will doubtless continue to demonstrate.

That said, where there's life, there's hope, and, being human, I can't help but wish he would wake the hell up.   Sad

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342 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 7:58 am

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I'm hoping with all of my heart too. I imagine I'll be angry at some point... there's no perfect way to handle this.

343 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 8:22 am

I have respected Bob's wishes and if he wants to go that is up to him. I am pissed because if he was treated with the proper care he may not have had those wishes.

Linda you are correct and yes it's been under new ownership for two years and the old owner deserves to rot in prison. It is a different name now. The owner's are out of Jay.



Last edited by ppaca on 10/30/2016, 11:41 am; edited 1 time in total

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344 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 2:59 pm

I guess I have gotten past my anger. Part of it was guilt that a month ago in between shots and before my scans and surgery, I did not try to make a trip to meet Bob and talk about his game plan with the cancer. There simply are things beyond our control and I guess providence does play a role in each of our lives. Bob over the last 12 years made it clear in no uncertain terms that he did not want to rot away in a nursing home. He always spoke so highly of his cousin, who he considered a brother. I think he is at peace, and sadly it does sound like the cancer is aggressive. At first I thought he needed a pep talk, but then I realized they were suggesting more surgery on the tumor area, and after the damage he sustained, I think I would be reluctant to trust them to get clear margins without further paralysis......Sophie's choice. I am now very sad. In some ways after 12 years of conversing with Bob, I have spent more time with him than any of my high school friends, or college friends. We shared good times and bad times.

With so many good people passing who we shared hours of our lives, it has become very difficult for me. I was supposed to be dead in January 2012. I was one of the few where the double shots actually extended my time line. I have seen retired Leo, ghost rider, Neko, and Teo all pass since they removed my lung with Cancer, and it just does not seem fair. I wish there was a miracle for Bob, but we all know this is extremely serious. I am honored to have shared time with him, and those who made efforts to help him in his need. We really have some quality people who may be like oil and water at times, but scrape the surface......to the last one, they are people of character.

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345 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 3:33 pm

2seaoat wrote:I guess I have gotten past my anger.  Part of it was guilt that a month ago in between shots and before my scans and surgery, I did not try to make a trip to meet Bob and talk about his game plan with the cancer.  There simply are things beyond our control and I guess providence does play a role in each of our lives.   Bob over the last 12 years made it clear in no uncertain terms that he did not want to rot away in a nursing home.   He always spoke so highly of his cousin, who he considered a brother.  I think he is at peace, and sadly it does sound like the cancer is aggressive.   At first I thought he needed a pep talk, but then I realized they were suggesting more surgery on the tumor area, and after the damage he sustained, I think I would be reluctant to trust them to get clear margins without further paralysis......Sophie's choice.   I am now very sad.  In some ways after 12 years of conversing with Bob, I have spent more time with him than any of my high school friends, or college friends.  We shared good times and bad times.

With so many good people passing who we shared hours of our lives, it has become very difficult for me.  I was supposed to be dead in January 2012.  I was one of the few where the double shots actually extended my time line.  I have seen retired Leo, ghost rider, Neko, and Teo all pass since they removed my lung with Cancer, and it just does not seem fair.   I wish there was a miracle for Bob, but we all know this is extremely serious.  I am honored to have shared time with him, and those who made efforts to help him in his need.  We really have some quality people who may be like oil and water at times, but scrape the surface......to the last one, they are people of character.



Well stated.  Seaoat, Bob would be the first to tell you, you to take care of your health first.

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346 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 6:59 pm

Bob is a "salt of the earth" type of dude. Anytime I think about Bob, I always picture a guy picking juke boxes on the road. He may be a toaster, but he's our toaster. He is the anchor of this forum. Very sad news.


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347 Re: Hey Bob on 10/29/2016, 10:19 pm

boards of FL wrote:Bob is a "salt of the earth" type of dude.  Anytime I think about Bob, I always picture a guy picking juke boxes on the road.  He may be a toaster, but he's our toaster.  He is the anchor of this forum.  Very sad news.  


Well stated.

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348 Re: Hey Bob on 10/30/2016, 10:43 am

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I'm very sorry to report that Bob passed away this morning.

349 Re: Hey Bob on 10/30/2016, 10:47 am

PkrBum wrote:I'm very sorry to report that Bob passed away this morning.

Stunning news..... May God be with those who were close to him.

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350 Re: Hey Bob on 10/30/2016, 10:52 am

He was loved here and he will hold a place in my heart.

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